Now We Know What Not to Do Again
by BlasterBlurby
Summary: The attack on Hogwarts destroyed Harry, in more ways than one. Now he has a chance to redeem himself, a way to right old wrongs, and a young Severus Snape is the first step. But how can Harry, as damaged as he is, befriend Snape when Sirius Black keeps drawing his attention away? Slash. Time Travel.
1. I Think I Did Have Good Days

**Author's Note:** Here is the first re-written chapter, for a more in depth explanation of why such a re-write exists visit the last chapter of the original story.

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><p><span>Now We Know What Not to Do Again<span>

I Think I Did Have Good Days

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><p><em>Remembering the laughter is easier said than done<em>

_And I can hardly recall what it was like to have fun_

_They say they will fix me, but I don't know how_

_Everything just seems so cold and lonely now_

_I think I did have good days; at least that's what they say_

_But I find that hard to trust when I can't keep these nightmares at bay_

_So I'll sit here, sleepless, and try to feel what I felt then_

_Maybe, just maybe, I can learn how to love again_

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><p><em><strong>Date: May 4, 1998; 11:47 am<strong>_

**Location: Hogwarts Castle**

**Condition: Under Siege**

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><p>"Aghhhh!"<p>

The scream spilled from his throat, it was impossible to keep back.

Harry was trapped under a caved in roof, his legs broken and pinned beneath a heavy block of stone. Draco Malfoy's wand was lost beneath the rubble. He was alone, defenseless, and they knew it.

He would have screamed again and never stop screaming if he could see what lay just beyond his sight. What floated in the suddenly icy air.

The pain in his mangled body was so great that at first the wizard was grateful for the sudden chill. The frost that began to creep along the floor cooled his feverish body and numbed the pain. Dazed and concussed Harry watched his panting breath form smoking clouds of white, but whatever childlike wonder he experienced fled once he saw the moth-eaten robes of the dementors, drifting toward him like eager hands.

They floated around the pinned wizard like jackals, and perhaps they recognized him, the one who could over power them all with a stag patronus. They circled him cautiously, edging slowly forward only to retreat moments later, but soon the dementors seemed to realize that Harry had no way to retaliate against them. That's when they attacked.

At first it was like third year, one dementor swooping down to taste him before moving aside for the next to have its turn. His head began to fill with wordless screams and his lungs felt as if they contained an icy slush that, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't breathe past.

He had no idea how much time had passed, but the dementors seemed to grow ever agitated. Their feedings became harsher, their withered gaping mouths greedier as they tried to take everything from him.

As his mind was besieged by his most horrible memories, Harry's consciousness retreated and his eyes glazed over.

Hours later, the light of dawn was already creeping in by the time he was found. Cries of, "He's over here!" and, "Oh my God!" could not penetrate his abused mind. A dozen patronuses pounced on his attackers and drove them away, their outraged light sending the dementors back. Hands grabbed him, spells lifted the weight on top of him, and tear-stained faces filled his vision, but by then he was already drifting away.

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><p>When he woke Harry distantly realized that he had no idea where he was, but he couldn't seem to gather enough emotion to care. A very hassled looking healer stood by his bedside arguing with Kingsley Shacklebolt, who seemed to be holding the wizard at wand point.<p>

"Heal him," the black-skinned wizard's voice held quiet threat and menace.

"I've already healed as much as I can! He's physically well, now let me go," the healer demanded, his balding head beading with sweat.

"We will let you leave as soon as you mend what the dementor's have done to him," Kingsley growled.

"I can't! There's nothing to be done! There's not enough chocolate in the world to help that monster now!"

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say as a moment later the healer was blasted into the wall by Kingsley's wand. Harry just watched dispassionately, it wasn't the first time, nor would it be the last, that he was likened to a beast, but Kingsley did not seem to think that excused the man.

"Don't you _ever_ call him that, you fat contented coward!"

"Mr. Shacklebolt, please stop!" Hermione Granger stood in the doorway. Harry recognized her as someone important to him, but he couldn't seem to remember why. "The man has already healed everyone's wounds. If he can't-," Hermione glanced at him and then away with tears in her eyes, "If he can't help Harry then we'll just have to obliviate him and find another healer, one that specializes in mind healing."

Auror Shacklebolt straightened and swallowed his anger.

"You're right Miss. Granger, I shouldn't have lost my temper. I'll go deal with this man now." Physically picking up the man, Kingsley slung the healer over his shoulder like a potato sack and left the room. Hermione closed the door behind him. Slowly, she approached him.

"Harry do you know where you are?"

"No."

"Do...Do you know who I am?" Her voice wavered and broke at this question, making guilt bubble up in Harry's stomach.

"Don't be stupid Hermione, of course I do." The relief this answer brought her was so that she didn't even snap at him for insulting her.

"That's good," she sighed and closed her eyes, opening them, she spoke again, "You're at Summerland Cottage, its where all of the surviving Order members retreated to. An old ally of Dumbledore's offered his home to us as a safe house while we regroup."

"Regroup?" Harry asked dully, "We've already lost. Hogwarts has been retaken."

"Don't say that," Hermione hastened to say, "As long as we still fight, as long as you're alive-,"

"But I'm not alive," Harry replied, confused. It was hard to think, but he was sure that he wasn't alive. Life was warm, people who lived were warm, but Harry...Harry was so cold. It was as if those dementors had scooped out his insides and replaced them with ice.

Hermione made a choking sound in her throat and fat tears began to slide down her face. Harry watched the path the tears took before they gathered and dripped from her chin.

"We'll make you better Harry, I swear, I swear!"

Suddenly Harry was cast into an old memory, living it again as if it were occurring in the present.

_"I fell down, I swear," the childish whine of his voice seemed to only make his kindergarten teacher pale even further. Desperately Harry tugged down his over-sized shirt, once more concealing the bruises, and looked up at Miss O'Dell with pleading eyes. "I swear!"_

Before he could recover from the sudden flashback, Hermione threw herself on him and began to sob into his neck. For some reason the words, "There is nothing better," became stuck in his throat.

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><p>Days and weeks passed, but Harry didn't get any better. The new mind healers had much the same to say as the first, Harry's mind could not be restored to its previous condition, the only treatment he could receive was a daily potion that would act as an antidepressant and block the flashbacks he found himself repeatedly falling into.<p>

"Did you take your potion yet boy?" a gruff voice called from the doorway of his room. Sitting up in his bed, Harry looked over to his host Nestor Thistle, an old friend from Dumbledore's school days.

"No," Harry answered curtly, his tone implying that he would not be imbibing the potion at all. The elixir prescribed by the healers made his thoughts unclear and dulled his senses. Not to mention it usually knocked him out for most of the day. He'd rather deal with the depression and memories.

"Whatever," Nestor shrugged as he walked into Harry's room, handing him a long, thick rod of wood. "I don't care if you're loopy or droopy, but you are going to get out of that bed and be of some use."

Looking down at the rod, Harry couldn't comprehend what he man was asking. He knew his relatives would have demanded he do chores in return for staying with them, but Harry couldn't guess how he could do anything of value with a long wooden pole.

_"Here!"_

_Harsh hands thrust a pair of garden shears into his small, fumbling hands. "Now get out there and be of some use to this family!" His Uncle's meaty hand grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the backdoor. The six year old stumbled and fell forward, just barely preventing himself from being impaled on the shears._

_"And don't come back inside until you're done," Uncle Vernon's last shout was punctuated by the sound of the backdoor slamming shut._

"Get up! Lazing about isn't going to do you any good. Work'll keep your mind off things, that it will. Nothing like good, hard labor to put the thoughts at ease."

Standing, Harry dressed in the jeans, shirt, and trainers the wizard provided and followed him through the house. The old tudor was furnished in period furniture and had a pleasant lived in feel, Harry had no idea where that thought had come from but he was used to being confused by his own mind.

Nestor led Harry out of the tudor, across the yard, and into what looked like an old carriage house. Harry needn't fear being spotted during his brief time outside, Summerland Cottage was nestled deep in the Forest of Dean, far from any civilization. Nestor had also placed his home under the fidelius charm long before the Order had come here.

Entering the the structure, Harry found that it was a workshop, filled with all sorts of artisan tools. Glancing around, he didn't have to guess what wares were made here. Laying on a table was a half finished firebolt, unstained and lacking its twigs, but the supple curve of its handle was instantly recognizable as his old broomstick.

_The unexpected curse shot through the sky and snapped his broom in half. For a moment overwhelming loss soared through him, even as he plummeted to the ground._

"I see you've caught on. I heard you were quite the flier before the dementors sucked you up like a happy dappy milkshake. Lets see if you can make brooms as good as you fly them."

During the next three months that Harry spent at Summerland Cottage Nestor became someone important to him, more so than anyone else. He could tell this hurt Hermione deeply, and he wished he could be what she wanted, but he couldn't pretend to care. He just wasn't good at it. The Harry from before the attack was so inconceivable to the new Harry that he just couldn't imitate him. He knew that the they were still much the same, but their was something vital missing, he could tell by the way people flinched around him.

Nestor didn't flinch. He wasn't driven away by Harry's coldness and he wasn't wary of Harry's _condition_. The old wizard had never known the old Harry, to Nestor he was the real Harry not the trauma that kept Harry from being himself.

Harry knew that there was a war happening beyond the cottage, the Order still fought even as their chosen one lost his will to do anything but pass his days under the trees of the Forest of Dean. Hermione and countless others tried to shock him out of his apathy, but they hardly succeeded. Nestor didn't even try, he seemed wholly content to let Harry make his own decisions.

And Harry was content, that is, until Hermione died.

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><p>"Come on kid, I've got something to show you."<p>

Harry blinked slowly, realizing that he'd been staring of into space again for who knew how long, he couldn't even remember why he was in Hermione's old bedroom to begin with. Turning around he took in Nestor's solemn face and followed without question.

Nestor took him into the attic, a dusty place with slanting ceilings and multitudes of boxes stored away from sight. Nestor pulled one such box, a trunk, away from the wall.

"This was sent to me by Albus a year ago, right before he died, he also sent a letter asking me to give this to you when the time was right, if you failed to kill Voldemort the first time around. I know what's in this trunk and I know what he means for you to do," Nestor placed his wrinkled hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eye, "But I want you to know that, no matter what, you have a choice. If you want nothing to do with this trunk then I'll burn it now and we'll never speak of it again. You could live here and take over as my successor when I'm gone. If you feel that you must follow this through to the end, well, I'll be a bit sad but I'd also be okay with that."

Harry glanced back down at the unimpressive trunk that seemed to be holding the key to his future. There was a great desire within him just to take Nestor's offer, to burn the trunk and forget there was ever another way. Harry opened his mouth to tell Nestor, but then he saw the glinting gold key sticking out from the trunk's lock. Bending down, he stroked the end of the stylized key with the pads of his fingers, wiping away the dust. As his fingers retreated a lion's eyes stared challenging up at him from where it poked it's head out of the keyhole. It taunted him and called him a coward for not having the bravery to step outside his isolated little world. Even as changed as he was Harry James Potter was still a Gryffindor and he wouldn't dishonor Hermione's sacrifice by spitting on the one chance he had at avenging her.

With a newfound determination burning in his eyes he gripped the key and turned it. Anti-climatically, the trunk's lid clicked open.

If Harry had looked up he would have seen a brief flash of sadness overcome Nestor's face, before it became hidden behind a wall of indifference.

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><p>The trunk, now laying open in the library, proved to Harry that Albus Dumbledore must have been omniscient or at least a seer. It just seemed impossible otherwise for Dumbledore to be manipulating the game even from his grave. In the trunk Harry found journals upon journals written by Dumbledore detailing his research on time travel, how he had found a way to break the time turner's 24 hour constraint. Theories of how or if a time traveler can change the course of history.<p>

Bound portfolios contained forged documents, all in the name of a seventeen year old named Harry Thistle. Leather bound notebooks included instructions on how to insert himself into the late seventies as if he had always been there. History texts, bookmarked at the most important pages, told him what he needed to know about the time period and the first war.

It took Harry weeks to read all of it and by the time he was done July had already passed and he was eighteen. The event would have gone uncelebrated if not for Nestor and the house elves. No one else came to celebrate, not that he had expected them too, the Order had long given up on him.

_"Your friend is dead, and you're just going to stand there! Do you feel nothing anymore!"_

_"Yes," Harry whispered._

Harry winced as his vision came back to him. These constant flashbacks were disorienting, it was no wonder it took him so long to go through Dumbledore's research.

"How are you doing there kid?"

"Better," Harry replied, looking up at Nestor's figure in the doorway, "I've finally finished reading over the instructions on how to use Dumbledore's invention, and I think I understand them well enough, but there is still one more journal to read."

"I'm not talking about the trunk," he said, limping into the room, apparently his arthritis was playing up.

"There's nothing else to talk about," Harry replied quietly, completely missing Nestor's wince.

"Do you need any help?"

"I need to prepare myself to take on this new identity, and I need you to write Dumbledore a letter. He mentions that I should exploit having a connection to you in order to secure a place at Hogwarts."

"I can do that," Nestor paused, "I'll help you change your appearance in the morning. It is late, you should get some sleep."

"You know I can't," Harry rebuffed him.

"Just try," said Nestor, "If you still can't fall asleep after a few hours I'll cast a sleeping charm on you." Harry opened his mouth to protest but it would have fallen on deaf ears as Nestor had already left the room.

"Crafty old man," Harry muttered fondly the empty room. Standing, Harry cracked his back and tiredly rubbed his sore eyes. Maybe Nestor was right about trying to sleep, even if only for a little bit. His decision made, the young wizard left the study to retire, but not before grabbing the one leather journal he hadn't looked through yet.

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><p>It was confirmed. Albus Dumbledore was a soothsayer. How else could he possibly have planned for this. How could he possibly know about Harry's <em>condition<em>, when it happened months after the old man had died.

Flipping the through the pages of a research journal written by his old friend, the Half-blood Prince, ideas and plans began to form in his head. This was a way to turn his greatest weakness into his greatest strength. No wonder all of Dumbledore's plans centered on him entering as a seventh year of Hogwarts. He had a very important ally to make.

"Here," huffed Nestor, handing him an envelope as he sat down in the study. "Read it later and seal it with the Thistle family insignia when you're done. I became a recluse a few years before you'll show up, so Dumbledore won't be able able to contact the past me to verify the letter."

Harry nodded. Taking the the envelope, he put aside and scooted his chair around the table's edge so he was sitting across from Nestor.

"Do you know what you're doing old man?"

"Can it kid. I may be old but a little human transfiguration is easy for an accomplished wizard like myself." Lifting his wand, Nestor pointed it at Harry's face. "It won't do to change so much that you won't be able to recognize yourself, but some subtle differences should keep people from connecting you to your father. Usually these kind of spells would wear off in a day or so but thanks to that bit of metamorphagi blood in you a few simple changes should stick."

_After a long cry Harry fell asleep in his cupboard, dreading the next day where he'd have to go to school sporting the hideous haircut his aunt had forced on him. That night he begged to god that he wouldn't be ostracized even more by his schoolmates._

_When he awoke the next morning his relatives were so angry when they saw that his hair had grown back to normal overnight._

"Here we go," Nestor muttered as he began to cast his spells. Harry kept as still as he could so as not to throw off the transfiguration spells. Hopefully Dumbledore would be right about Harry having a latent ability for metamorphasizing, then he wouldn't have to worry about sustaining the charms or being stripped of them.

When Nestor laid his wand down and handed him a mirror, Harry was surprise at how attractive his new features were. Shooting the old wizard a suspicious glance, Harry turned back to his reflection. The obvious changes were easy to spot, like his shoulder length hair, just as long as it had been in his fourth year. It was harder to see the subtle changes but Harry knew his face well enough to recognize that it was a tad thinner, his eyes a bit bigger, his nose had a graceful curve that it hadn't before, and his jaw was more pronounced and stripped of any stubble.

"Nestor-,"

"Don't complain," The wizard interjected with a toothy grin, "If you're going to have a new face why not a handsome one, at least then you can get a girl or two." Nestor wheezed at his own joke, knowing full well that Harry was likely to wretch at the very thought of being with a woman.

"Fine," Harry admitted grudgingly, "It'll do."

"Ha! You cheeky little brat! Lets see if it'll stick." Picking up his wand again, Nestor cast a few revealing charms and spells that should have cancelled out the changes made to Harry's face. As planned the changes stayed a permanent part of his face. Despite this Nestor stilled seemed discontent.

"Wait here," he growled before shuffling out of the study. Harry felt narcissistic just staring into the handglass but he had little else to do until Nestor returned.

"Don't frown like that honey, its quite the improvement," offered the mirror. Harry opened his mouth tell the mirror to cram it, but Nestor reappeared with a small jewelry box in his hand. Setting the minuscule box on the table, he opened it to reveal a single ear ring. Squinting at it Harry realized that the amethyst gem and the sharp silver stem and the leaves actually depicted a knotted thistle.

"Nestor that's-,"

"It's okay, it doesn't actually go through your ear, it just sets itself around the shell. Anyone who would doubt your origins from the Noble house of Thistle will be silenced by this."

"I don't get it Nestor. Why are we telling the past world that I'm your son but Dumbledore that I was only adopted by you?"

"Because I'm barren," Harry's eyes shot up to Nestor's, "And Dumbledore is one of the very few who knows it. We can't lie to his past self about that but others will be easily fooled and if they aren't, well, almost no one looks past a lie and expects another lie. By covering yourself in layers of deceit you'll prevent others from finding out the truth of your origin and your purpose."

Slowly Harry nodded. If anyone found out he was lying about being a Thistle then by revealing the story given to Dumbledore, that Harry was adopted, that person would look no further not expecting another lie. It was good logic. Hermione would have approved.

Some emotion Harry could not decipher overcame Nestor's expression as he brushed his hair back and clipped the family heirloom to the rim of Harry's ear. The expression didn't terrify Harry as it once would have. The damaged wizard had quickly realized that most of the expression and emotions he didn't recognize were the ones that he didn't have to be wary of.

"You'll be leaving soon then?" Nestor grunted.

"Tomorrow," he replied, watching Nestor turn away.

"You should get a good night's rest then." Nestor was gone before Harry could think of anything to say. Sinking down into his chair, Harry reached out and grabbed the letter Nestor had written to the past Dumbledore. With gentle fingers Harry unfolded the crisp creases and began to read.

_Dear Albus,_

_I know I have not spoken to you in many years and perhaps you thought me to be dead. I'm sorry if I caused you any grief old friend but I'm afraid that it was necessary. This boy you see before you is my son, in love if not blood, and as any good father would have, I tried to protect him from anything that could harm him. I took him from the world I thought would destroy him and gave him a home. Now I realize the folly of my ways. I know now that instead of saving Harry I was holding him back._

_When we met I immediately knew that he had suffered far more than any should. He was broken, and I thought I could mend him, but I failed. Instead I fear I've only worsened his condition by removing him from society._

_I beg of you to allow him entry into Hogwarts. He needs a new home as my youth is failing me and I've already been sick for a long time. I refuse to have my son watch me waste away. The boy has had enough horrors to last a dozen lifetimes, and I will spare him this if its the last thing I do._

_Harry does not know I am sick, and it is my dying wish that he not find out. The boy thinks I have sent him to Hogwarts to finish his education and I'm sure by now you think I have sent him away so that I can die alone, but those are a small part of the true reason. The boy needs Hogwarts. He needs to learn how to connect with people again._

_I can think of no other words to convince you. This goodbye old friend._

_Yours Truly,_

_Nestor Thistle_

Tears ran thin trails along Harry's cheeks and before he could move the letter aside, a few drops fell onto the parchment, leaving it wet and wrinkled in a few spots.

Somehow, Harry suspected that the letter was nothing but the truth.

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><p>The silver instruments hummed softly, their fragile forms reminiscent of the knickknacks Harry had smashed in a fit of rage after Sirius died. Wisps of silvery smoke curled from them like steam from a teakettle. The smoke did not dissipate in the outdoor air but rather stayed concentrated about Harry's body like it was trapped in a glass dome, almost forming a perfect sphere.<p>

At his left stood the trunk packed with all of Dumbledore's research and the few possessions Harry had decided to take with him. Gradually the hum of the instruments grew louder until it was all Harry could hear. Knowing what was to come next, he took a deep breath, but before he could finish inhaling the sphere of smoke condensed around him, freezing him and squeezing him until he and it became a speck no wider than a grain of sand, floating there, unseen, as the world was thrown backwards.


	2. This Facade I Am Stuck With

**Author's Note:** Here is the second chapter! I'm glad at how supportive you guys are being and I'm very happy that you liked the last chapter. Happy Turkey Day everyone!

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><p><span>Now We Know What Not to Do Again<span>

This Façade I Am Stuck With

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><p><em>In world where I can't be myself<em>

_And I must display my life on a shelf_

_I find solace in hiding the finer details, as if it matters_

_To the deceived when the lies begin to shatter_

_And when all my deceit has reached its zenith_

_All that's left is this façade I am stuck with_

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><p><strong>Date: August 30, 1978; 9:00 am<strong>

**Location: Hogwarts Castle**

**Condition: Closed for Summer Vacation**

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><p>Harry exhaled.<p>

As the smoke finally dissipated Harry realized that he was no longer in the Forest of Dean. The trees were too tall, the canopy too thick, and the atmosphere too ominous. Somehow he'd been transported to the Forbidden Forest, but had he really gone back in time?

Harry soon had his answer. After exiting the forest he came face to face with Hagrid. The half-giant was surprised to find a youngster wandering on the grounds but it was easy for Harry to convince him that he had merely been lost on the way to the castle. As good natured as ever, Hagrid happily escorted him up to Hogwarts where they were then intercepted by Professor Mcgonagall, looking far younger than Harry had ever saw her.

"What are you doing here young man!" The professor seemed utterly astonished. "The school year doesn't start for another three days!" Seeing how infuriated the deputy headmistress was becoming, Hagrid made a hasty get away, grumbling about an crup pup that needed a flea bath.

"I'm looking for Dumbledore's office," Harry replied, his voice devoid of emotion, as it usually was, "I was sent here to ask to be enrolled in the seventh year."

"Albus hasn't informed me of any transfers," she said, sounding a bit baffled.

"That would be because he doesn't know about any transfers. My guardian has sent me with the necessary paperwork, but I think he forgot to send word that I was coming," he lied effortlessly.

McGonagall pressed her lips in a thin line that said just what she thought of people who forget to tell schools they were sending them new students. "Come along then," the older witch told him tersely, and he marched along behind her like a good little soldier until they came to the gargoyle that safeguarded the headmaster's office.

"Chocolate frogs," she told it, and the gargoyle sprang from its position and allowed the two entrance.

"What do we have here Minerva?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at him from across his desk and Harry had to fight back images of him plunging over the side of the Astronomy tower.

"He's a transfer student," she informed Dumbledore, "His guardian seems to have forgotten to send word beforehand, but he says he has the paperwork—," the witch trailed off, looking at Harry expectantly.

The long-haired youth pulled the folded papers from the pocket of his cloak, and handed them the headmaster.

After a few long minutes Dumbledore looked up from his Nestor's letter with unshed tears glimmering in his eyes. Harry stoically took in the headmaster's intense reaction, it had been his own reaction when he read it. He hadn't realized how much Nestor loved and worried about him, or how sick he had become.

"Well, Albus?" asked McGonagall impatiently, not noticing the headmaster's obvious distress.

Dumbledore forced his sadness away and responded, "Harry Thistle will be enrolled as a seventh year."

"How shall we handle the sorting? Should we do it now?"

"No," Dumbledore replied, "Tradition demands a public sorting. Harry will just have to wait for the year to start. I assume you have the necessary paperwork with you?"

"Yes," said Harry as he removed the thick envelope from the inner pocket of his coat. Handing it to the headmaster, he once again stood as still as a statue as he waited for Dumbledore to finish reading the fake documents. Professor McGonagall threw him uneasy glances, perhaps Harry's unnatural stillness was unnerving her as it had unnerved so many others.

"Your paperwork all seems in order," the headmaster bound the documents and handed them back to him. "As the castle is unfit for students yet, you can stay at my expense in the Leaky Cauldron until the school year begins in three days."

"Thank you Headmaster," Harry dipped his head, "but my guardian has left me sufficient funds so that will be unnecessary. If I could have the use of your fireplace I will be on my way."

Dumbledore watched him for a moment before standing and beckoning him to the fireplace. Reaching into a nearby pot Harry withdrew a handful of floo powder and threw it into the flames, watching as the blaze turned bright green.

"Here is the list of supplies you will need during the school year and your train ticket. When you get there tell Tom I sent you, and he will assist you in finding them," he was told by Dumbledore as he was handed, what the young wizard assumed, was a list. Harry nodded absently, his thoughts elsewhere and stepped into the flames while at the same time thinking of the Leaky Cauldron.

* * *

><p>Diagon Alley was terrifying.<p>

The crowds of people and the din alone set Harry's teeth on edge, but when he ventured out among them and had to endure them brushing up against him, looking at him...He was undone. As he tried to make his way to Ollivander's, without touching anyone, his plan was foiled when a teenage girl ran into him without looking.

"Oh! Sorry," she cried when their shoulders collided. Harry instantly recoiled from the touch and hastily stepped past the girl shuddering with the effort to keep calm. Unable to continue on, Harry crashed into a shallow alleyway and concentrated on breathing.

_'Don't look at me,' Harry begged in his mind, outwardly cringing from the greedy and implacable horde that had surrounded him like vultures at the kill. Their cameras flashing, taking pictures as proof of his grief-stricken face. 'Please don't look at me, I can't bare it.'_

_"How does it feel to be vindicated Mr. Potter?"_

_'Don't look at me. I can't bare your eyes.'_

_"Mr. Potter! How do feel about You-know-who's return? Any comment?"_

_'Stop staring at me!'_

_"Any comment on the death of Sirius Back?"_

_'Stop it! Stop it, I hate it! STOP IT!'_

A strong hand persistently shook his shoulder, bring him back from the vivid memory.

"Hey, are you alright there mate? You look a little sick." The voice was confident, male, and a touch concerned.

"And your way of helping a sick person is to shake them," Harry spat, slapping away the appendage that was touching him. He could hardly tolerate Nestor's touch, he in no way could endure a stranger's touch. Lifting his head up enough to glare at the wizard through his fringe, Harry was soundly taken aback.

_"Any comment on the death of Sirius Black?"_

"Touchy! No need to be nasty, I was just trying to help. You looked like you were having some sort of fit," The taller boy seemed to consider him a moment, and then he smiled a smile that, as far as Harry's memories were concerned, he had never seen the like of. "I'm Sirius Black."

Harry felt overwhelmed, whatever the boy had done to stop his panic was no longer working and he was gripped with the urge to flee.

"I'm leaving," Harry sputtered standing up from the wall and practically running out of the alley while trying to disappear into the crowd. Unfortunately, he did not succeed.

"'Leeving,' huh? Thats a funny name, is it muggle?" The look of pure horror that was directed his way seemed to have no effect on Sirius Black, as he kept pace with Harry. "Not that I have anything against muggles and muggleborns, but you lot have some rather strange names."

"My name is not 'Leeving' and I would appreciate it if you would stop following me," Harry ground out, utterly exasperated. Seeing Ollivander's a few shops down, Harry whirled around to face his stalker, giving him a look that on no uncertain terms told him to go away.

Sirius smirked, his wavy black hair framing his perfect mouth, and where had that thought come from! There was nothing admirable about that arrogant smirk, even if it made his stormy grey eyes lighten. "It's not? Thats a relief, it doesn't suit you at all, and who said I was following you? I just happen to be going in the same direction and thought you would like some company."

"You thought wrong," glowered Harry, his actions and words coming from a place inside him he hadn't known existed. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so frustrated, so heated. He couldn't remember the last time he had been anything but cold. It was bad...but in a good way.

Sirius, still smirking, lifted his hands in defeat and stepped back.

"So touchy! Here, I'm going away," the wizard began to take dramatically slow steps backwards, "I am removing my insufferable self from your presence." With one last grin Sirius spun around and disappeared into the crowd. Suspicious, Harry's eyes tracked him through the sea of people until he saw him disappear into Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions.

Harry chewed his lip for a moment, undecided, and then turned back toward Ollivander's. He needed a wand.

* * *

><p>Over the next two days Harry secured all of his school supplies without further incident. He opened a new bank account in gringotts, where he stored all of Dumbledore's research and the money Nestor had given him. The trunk was now packed with books and assorted school things, along with his new clothing. He'd brought no other clothing besides the generic robes he wore during the ritual so he had to get an all new wardrobe. For the most part it was rather annoying and he let the clerks at Madam Malkin's do most of the work, except for a heavy brown, suede coat that he instantly took a liking to. It was a bit large for him and came to mid thigh on his legs but he loved that it had pockets on the inside of it that contained expanded space.<p>

He'd already gotten his old wand from Ollivander's but with only one more day left before school started he was still missing a familiar. He was finally ready for another companion after Hedwig protected him from a killing curse, but after examining every owl at Eeylop's Owl Emporium he only felt wretched trying to replace her.

Figuring that another owl wasn't for him, Harry left Eeylop's and went to magical menagerie, which had a much wider assortment of animals. Instinctively Harry avoided the reptiles and examined the other options. The rats were showoffs, the rabbits were stupid, the toads weren't much to look at, the birds were too noisy, and all the cats seemed to hate him. The dogs were the best, one crup seemed particularly besotted with him, but one of the few rules Hogwarts had on pets was that no dogs were allowed.

Just as Harry was beginning to doubt whether he should get another animal, he felt something with sharp claws shoot up his leg until it reached his chest, where it clung to his shirt and arched its long neck, looking him square in the face. It's beady black eyes glared at him and Harry's first thought was ferret, but this thing was far too large and vicious-looking to be a ferret.

"There it is daddy!"

The thing seemed to sneer before it hastily wrapped its long body around Harry's neck. Across the store a man and child walked over to them and the thing began to hiss and spit. The man hesitated but the little girl kept coming until she was standing in front of Harry with a scowl on her face and a finger pointed at him.

"Gimme back Fluffy, he's mine!" The girl demanded shrilly in her lacy pink robes.

"Now Drew be polite," said he father, "If this boy wants it, there are plenty of better animals. How about a bunny?" The man seemed desperate to get his daughter away from the vicious thing and very relieved that Harry seemed to be buying it.

"No!" she wailed, and Harry flinched at the noise, "I want that one!"

Desperate to shut the brat up, Harry reached up to unwind the beast from around his neck but the thing only affixed itself further by mercilessly digging its sharp little claws into his shoulders. The thing hissed and chattered, snapping its sharp teeth threateningly at Harry's ear until he stopped trying to pull it off.

"Sorry," Harry muttered to the little girl, "but it looks like he's coming with me." That was not what the girl wanted to hear. The father had to drag the girl kicking and screaming out of the store, with only the threat of no ice cream to stop the girl's screeching. Once they were gone everyone looked relieved and a clerk came to help him remove the animal from his neck, though she received much the same resistance as he did.

"I'm sorry," she profusely apologized when she couldn't unwind the thing from his neck, "We don't usually sell weasels so no one here has much experience with him."

"Its a weasel?" Harry asked feeling ridiculous with the thing wrapped around his neck like a fur collar.

"A long-tailed weasel, yes," she answered, chewing her lip, "We got him from across the pond on a special order that fell through. Magical Menagerie was just the middle man but we ended up being stuck with him. He does seem to like you though." The girl sounded incredibly hopeful. No doubt the entire staff wanted the ill-tempered weasel gone.

Sighing, Harry glanced at the thing from the corner his eye, it was baring its rows of needle-like teeth at the clerk, who seemed about ready to faint. Well, at least it wasn't an owl.

"How much?" The girls eyes alit with triumph and a bit of greed.

"That will be fifty galleons, sir." Harry glared at her and the weasel hissed, making her face go white.

"For fifty galleons you better throw in everything I need for it, free of charge, I'm doing you a favor after all."

The clerk was nearly running as she snatched up all the things he would need including a cage, food, and bedding, as well as things he didn't like an assortment of toys, treats and even a ruddy climbing post.

"What's it's name," Harry asked after he finished paying, and the girl looked a bit embarrassed.

"Oh, that, well we named him Pop," the clerk winced when the weasel snarled.

"Pop?"

"You know," the clerk switched from foot to foot, blushing, "'Pop' goes the weasel."

'Pop' nearly leapt at the girl, hissing and spitting in Harry's hands as he managed to snatch it mid-leap. It the first time he got a good look at the thing. It was very large, Harry could just wrap his hands around the thing's middle, and it was as long as his arm. It had thick, soft fur that went from rusty brown to black around its face and feet, and it had a creamy white underbelly. It's short, stubby legs clawed at the air as it struggled and its tail fur was standing on end like a bottle brush.

"Don't worry," he muttered to the weasel, "I'll rename you as soon as we get back to the room." Harry's new pet calmed down enough to sit across his shoulder's again as Harry shrunk the purchases and stuck them into his enlarged pocket.

As Harry walked through the crowds, he found that it was much easier to breath and avoid touching anyone since no one wanted to get too close to the ferocious animal sitting on his shoulders. Smiling slightly, Harry reached up and stroked the long tail that was resting against his chest.

* * *

><p>Harry and his new pet ate lunch in their room at the Leaky Cauldron. Harry had some soup and the weasel devoured some chunks of jerky that the clerk said was his main diet. Afterwards Harry took out the supplies the clerk had given him and inspected them more thoroughly. Many of the toys seemed geared towards ferrets and unsuitable for a weasel, but it certainly loved its big climbing post that also had an attachable hammock that it instantly curled up on. The large bag of food no longer seemed quite so long lasting as it had before Harry had seen the weasel eat, but then again he could always just ask the house elves for more meat.<p>

Meticulously Harry packed some bedding on the floor of the cage and added a toy ball along with a water bottle and a rubber food prison that the weasel would have to work to get food out of. A weasel was still a wild animal and working for its food would do it some good, Harry reasoned. Climbing down from its perch, the weasel seemed to sneer at the large owl cage.

"At least you'll be able to stand in it," Harry pointed out, sure that that was why the clerk had forgone the standard rodent cages, "Besides this is just for the train ride, you don't have to live in it." Assuaged by his assurances, the weasel crawled into his lap and looked up at him. "Now what to name you...I'm better with girl names, but I don't suppose you'd like that, would you?"

The way the weasel shook its head was comical.

"Okay," Harry leaned his back against the side of the bed, "No girl names and no cutesy names. How about Fang? No? Okay, how about Godric? Thats a good name." The weasel seemed to think about it for a moment but ultimately shook its head. "Derrick? Castor? Killer? Duke? Absinthe? Salazar? Newton? Miser? Simon?" The weasel shook his head each time, stubbornly refusing all the names he'd come up with so far.

"If you don't choose soon I'm sticking with Pop," Harry threatened. "Sickle? That's a good name for a weasel. Okay this is my final offer, otherwise you'll be eternally know as Mr. Fluffy Pants, how about Ajax? Its the name of a gladiator from Roman history."

The weasel finally nodded and looked quite pleased with name. Picking up the leather harness that had been included in his purchase, Harry pointed his wand at the name plate and engraved AJAX into the the metal. Ajax made a show of putting up a fight, but once the harness was fixed around his chest Harry could tell that the weasel was secretly pleased.

For the rest of the evening Harry spent his time either playing with Ajax, or reading his potions textbook and Snape's research journal. It was the right choice to get another familiar, especially considering his _condition_, caring for an animal was a very soothing hobby.

By the time Harry fell asleep, Ajax curled up on his chest, he had learned much from his readings and his time spent playing Ajax. He felt calm and content, as he had back in the Forest of Dean, making him think of Nestor, Hermione, and the old friends he'd left behind.

What he did not do was think about Sirius Black.


	3. Let Them Stop and Stare

**Author's Note:** Some of you have expressed confusion over Harry's mental illness as a result of the dementor attack. Dementor's feed on good memories and which leaves the victim with only the bad memories. Harry's attack was so brutal that almost every good memory was taken and the only memories left are either bad memories or neutral memories. Literally Harry's mind is like a jigsaw missing half of its pieces and he can make assumptions of what the good memories were based on his bad memories (ex. Harry knows he had a broom because he can remember how sad he felt when it was destroyed.) This can be typical for Azkaban prisoners who have been long exposed to Dementors and like Sirius Black in cannon Harry can suffer from confusion and insomnia. But Harry's attack was so brutal it was like spending over a decade in Azkaban within less than a day. This is where the flashbacks come from and why its so hard for Harry to feel positive emotions and connect with other people. Harry was also almost completely isolated during his months of recovery, which helped but also hindered said recovery. I hope that helped explain it. Its a sort of broad explanation but if you want any specifics please pm me and I'll try to answer your questions.

Oh yeah, and please don't give too much crap about reusing a Sorting Hat song. Unlike the Sorting Hat I don't have a whole year to think up lyrics.

* * *

><p><span>Now We Know What Not to Do Again<span>

Let Them Stop and Stare

* * *

><p>The eyes of others strip me of my veneer<p>

They put such weight in how a person appears

And so I let them stop and stare

Why should I falter? Why should I care?

Their shallowness helps hide my secret nadir

Where my mind, my power, and my ideals are greater

Than any notion those cattle could dream

And where I am much stronger than I seem

* * *

><p><strong>Date: September 2, 1978; 11:00 am<strong>

**Location: Hogwarts Express**

**Condition: Departing from Platform**

* * *

><p>"Is this seat taken?"<p>

Curious as to who had finally braved entering the same compartment as Ajax, who was viciously destroying a chew toy, Harry turned from the window. When he did look up he instantly recognized the lank haired wizard. Standing in the aisle was no other than a young Severus Snape.

_"Look at me," the Potion Master strained to say as poisoned blood bubbled past his lips in a pinkish froth._

"Is this seat taken?" Snape loudly repeated when he didn't receive a response. Snapping out of his gruesome reverie Harry made a welcoming gesture towards the bench seat opposite him, although Ajax growled threateningly from his place beside Harry. The sallow faced youth shot the weasel a wary look before loading his trunk onto the overhead rack. Sitting down, his black eyes fastened onto Harry with greedy curiosity.

"I've never seen you before, and you're too old to be a first year," Severus observed, sizing the other wizard up.

"I was home schooled," he replied blandly. Instead of turning back to the window Harry returned Snape's scrutinizing gaze. Who would have thought his prey would come to him so helpfully, the rabbit shouldn't hop right into the wolf's mouth, but then again, Snape didn't seem know he was the rabbit. No, Snape would think he was the wolf. Foolish.

This younger potions master didn't look much different from the double agent Harry had been familiar with. The greasy hair, pointed face, pale skin, and mean expression was all there. The only real, physical differences were the lack of wrinkles and stress marks lining his face.

Severus looked like he was about to say something but before he could the compartment door was thrown open, causing Severus to jump, Ajax to hiss, and Harry to frown. Pushing their way into their compartment was James Potter and Sirius Black.

"Well lookie here Padfoot, it's our favorite grease ball Snivellus," James Potter crowed noisily from the aisle, "Back for his seventh year, we're gonna have to make this school year count since it's the last one." The two bullies hardly even took notice of the boy sitting across from their target, as they reached into their robes, undoubtedly to pull out their wands and hex Severus.

"Excuse me," Harry's voice wasn't cold. It was frigid.

James Potter spared him glance, expecting to see just another Slytherin then did a double-take.

"Who the hell are you?" Demanded Potter. Sirius's eyes widened as he recognized him.

"You just barged into my compartment, harassed my companion, and now you're demanding who I am?" Harry's voice and eyes were filled with scorn. Ajax crawled onto his lap and snarled at the two, making them edge away. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

The boy seemed thrown for a bit, but Sirius took James' silence as an opportunity to speak.

"Hello again," his voice was perfectly arrogant and the insufferable smile began to fold his lips upward, although he shot the bristling weasel a wary glance. "You don't have to sit with him you know. There's room in our compartment." Potter nearly snapped his neck as he turned to look at Black with incredulity.

"Not interested."

"Come on," Black whined playfully, his eyes crinkling, "I know you don't like me, but really? You'd rather sit with a slime ball like Snape? You're just starting at Hogwarts right? You should start by making the right kind of friends."

_"You'll learn that some wizarding families are better than others."_

Harry sneered at both Black and the memory of Malfoy. They sounded too much alike.

"I don't need anyone to tell me who the right kind of friends are, I can already tell you're the wrong sort." From the corner of his eye Harry saw Snape staring at him, astonished. Did anyone stand up for Snape? Harry knew Snape had been friends with his mum, but did they even talk to each other after the incident during fifth year? "You and whoever he is can go now."

Before Black could protest again, Potter butted in.

"I'm James Potter," the boy's chest was puffed out like a strutting rooster, "And I'm Head boy of Hogwarts so you better watch what you say to me, new kid." Black didn't look appreciative of his friends interference.

Knowing a lost cause when he saw one Harry just turned back to the window with a sigh, "Please leave." Was it Hermione who said people responded better to politeness? He couldn't quite remember.

Potter's face went red at being so readily dismissed, but Sirius seemed unaffected. Harry had no idea why the wizard seemed so bloody interested in him but it was really getting on his nerves.

"What was up with you at Diagon Alley?"

Harry stiffened.

"It was like you were-," Black never finished because, in an unprecedented loss of control on Harry's part, he and James were suddenly banished by Harry's magic.

Both Snape and Ajax gave a squawk of surprise as the two tormentors vanished.

Harry paled. Losing control of his magic was childish at best, highly dangerous at worst. At the time he had just wanted them to go away before Sirius finished that sentence, but what if he had been angry enough to wish them harm? His magic might have lashed out and injured them.

This was bad. One of the healers the Order had kidnapped to treat him had mentioned something like this. That it would be best to isolate him, or keep human contact to a minimum because if he was to be reintroduced to society with his current illness he could pose a danger to others. Kingsley had quickly assumed the healer was just another bigot, but what if she had meant that his magic was dangerous? That he could lose control over it like a child, but with all the power of an adult. Children couldn't truly cause much damage because their magic was still weak when the were going through this phase but Harry's magic was stronger than most. He could kill someone without really meaning to.

"Wh-what did you do to them," Severus demanded, his eyes wide with some emotion, horror maybe? "That was fantastic! I've never seen anyone vanish a person, and you did it wordlessly and without even drawing your wand!"

Okay, more like admiration, but still.

"Can you do other spells wandlessly," Snape was looking at him with amazement, "And where did Potter and Black go?"

"Uh," at least he didn't know that what Harry did was unintentional, but Severus thinking he could do magic without a wand wasn't ideal either, "That wasn't really a vanishing spell. It was actually a banishing charm. I just banished them from all the rail cars but the caboose, so they'll be stuck there for the rest of the train ride."

Severus started laughing, "Oh that's great! Nobody but first years sit there! Can you imagine perfect popular Potter and Black sitting with first years?" The thin boy stuck out his hand. "My name is Severus Snape, seventh year Slytherin."

"Harry. Harry Thistle," the other wizard responded, accepting the hand being offered to him. It seemed like he had just become friends with the man who used to give him detentions for breathing too loud. At the very least Harry could appreciate the irony, and besides, Dumbledore always knew what he was doing.

The rest of the train ride passed with Severus filling him in on Hogwarts. Harry already knew all these things but had to feign ignorance for the sake of his cover. The potions master also filled him in on ways he had triumphed over the Potter/Black duo, and how Slytherins in general loved hexing Peter Pettigrew whenever they got the chance. Despite Harry's deep seated hatred of bullying he couldn't help but crack a smile at imagining any suffering on that rat's part. He had always regretted that Wormtail hadn't died by his hand. Just another thing Harry could change.

"We're here," Severus stated the obvious as the steam engine rolled to a stop just outside the castle grounds at Hogsmeade. "Just leave your things and your," here Snape cast Ajax a doubtful look, "_pet_ here and the house elves will put them in the dorm."

After sticking a livid weasel back in his cage, Harry dutifully followed Severus through the jostling crowds, keeping his breathing slow, ignoring the curious stares, and was soon climbing onto a carriage filled with other Slytherin students. Harry couldn't help but wonder if the Sorting Hat would end up putting him into Slytherin. It had been a possibility at his first sorting, and that Harry had only been capable of being social with Slytherins did not bode well.

"Who is this Severus?" asked a boy that Harry instantly recognized.

"Harry this is Lucius Malfoy. Lucius this is Harry Thistle," the greasy haired wizard introduced the two.

"Charmed," he sneered, and Harry inclined his head very slightly, never taking his eyes off of Voldemort's future right hand man.

"That's Crabbe, Goyle, and Regulus Black," Snape continued, pointing at the other students in the cart. Harry didn't spare the two Neanderthals a glance but his gaze fastened on Regulus. Regulus Black did not have the roguish good looks of his older brother but he was pleasant to look at nevertheless, and he was certainly more withdrawn than his sibling.

"Harry was home schooled up until now," Severus explained to his friends, "He's going to be a seventh year."

"Home school? You're a pureblood then," Lucius looked at him with approval.

"The House of Thistle originated in Scotland, but migrated to England a few generations back," supplied Regulus glancing up through his fringe at Harry before looking away. "The Malfoys have never mixed with them but I believe the Blacks and Thistles share a common ancestor."

"Reggie likes to study genealogy," Severus explained to Harry, making him uneasy. He would have to be careful around this one, or better yet, avoid him like Harry planned to avoid his brother. Feeling Regulus' eyes on him, Harry very careful lifted a hand and brushed a lock of his own hair back, casually revealing the Thistle family heirloom nestled around his ear.

Regulus's gaze subsided and Harry thanked god for Nestor's foresight.

"What house will he be in?" asked Goyle in between shoveling candy in his mouth. Even as he spoke a chocolate frog leg wagged from between his lips.

"Slytherin, of course," scoffed Severus.

"You think so Severus," asked Harry, feigning indifference. Would he really be put in Slytherin? The house that produced more death eater's and dark lords than any other. Had he really fallen so far? "My father was in Hufflepuff."

"I'm sure of it," he said confidently, "The way you put those Gryffindor's in their place was pure Slytherin," Severus launched into the story of how Harry had expelled James Potter and Sirius Black to the caboose and by the time he was done recounting the tale to his friends the carriage had arrived at the castle.

While the others took their seats in the great hall Harry made his way over to Professor McGonagall who was directing the first years.

"Single file everyone!" She noticed him standing behind her, "Mr. Thistle you will be sorted after the first years. Stay in the back until you're called." Harry nodded and leaned on the wall, watching the first years toddle off to get sorted.

* * *

><p>"Where have you two been?"<p>

James and Sirius winced as they sat opposite to Remus and Peter at the Gryffindor table.

"Some prat banished us to the caboose," James mumbled, utterly humiliated. Sirius was scowling at the table.

"The caboose?" repeated Remus, surprised. "What did you two do that made someone banish you to the caboose?" Remus knew his friends well, and so he knew they must have done something to deserve it, not that they would admit it.

"We're innocent!" Sirius protested unconvincingly.

"I'm insulted that you would imply that Moony. Me and Padfoot can do no wrong!"

Before Remus could retaliate the Sorting Hat started to sing.

_In times of old, when I was new,_

_And Hogwarts barely started,_

_The founders of our noble school_

_Thought never to be parted._

_United by a common goal,_

_They had the selfsame yearning_

_To make the world's best magic school_

_And pass along their learning._

_"Together we will build and teach"_

_The four good friends decided._

_And never did they dream that they_

_Might some day be divided._

_For were there such friends anywhere_

_As Slytherin and Gryffindor?_

_Unless it was the second pair_

_Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw_

_So how could it have gone so wrong?_

_How could such friendships fail?_

_Why, I was there, so I can tell_

_The whole sad, sorry tale._

_Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those_

_Whose ancestry's purest."_

_Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose_

_Intelligence is surest"_

_Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those_

_With brave deeds to their name."_

_Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot_

_And treat them just the same."_

_These differences caused little strife_

_When first they came to light._

_For each of the four founders had_

_A house in which they might_

_Take only those they wanted, so,_

_For instance, Slytherin_

_Took only pure-blood wizards_

_Of great cunning just like him._

_And only those of sharpest mind_

_Were taught by Ravenclaw_

_While the bravest and the boldest_

_Went to daring Gryffindor._

_Good Hufflepuff she took the rest_

_and taught them all she knew,_

_Thus, the Houses and their founders_

_Maintained friendships firm and true._

_So Hogwarts worked in harmony_

_for several happy years,_

_but then discord crept among us_

_feeding on our faults and fears._

_The Houses that, like pillars four_

_had once held up our school_

_now turned upon each other and_

_divided, sought to rule._

_And for a while it seemed the school_

_must meet an early end._

_what with dueling and with fighting_

_and the clash of friend on friend._

_And at last there came a morning_

_when old Slytherin departed_

_and though the fighting then died out_

_he left us quite downhearted._

_And never since the founders four_

_were whittled down to three_

_have the Houses been united_

_as they once were meant to be._

_And now the Sorting Hat is here_

_and you all know the score:_

_I sort you into Houses_

_because that is what I'm for._

_But this year I'll go further,_

_listen closely to my song:_

_though condemned I am to split you_

_still I worry that it's wrong,_

_though I must fulfill my duty_

_and must quarter every year_

_still I wonder whether sorting_

_may not bring the end I fear._

_Oh, know the perils, read the signs,_

_the warning history shows,_

_for our Hogwarts is in danger_

_from external, deadly foes_

_and we must unite inside her_

_or we'll crumble from within_

_I have told you, I have warned you..._

_let the Sorting now begin._

"That's ominous," Prongs said quietly after the hat's song was over.

"Ravenclaw!"

"The Sorting Hat's been getting more depressing every year," complained Wormtail.

"Gryffindor!"

"The war has been escalating every year," Moony retorted. "Its trying to warn us. Nearly Headless Nick says that it always repeats that song when it feels Hogwarts is threatened."

"What're you staring at Padfoot?" James tried to crane his head to see what was so interesting in the back of the hall that his best friend was completely ignoring them.

"Nothing," Sirius quickly replied, turning back to watch the sorting.

Once the last first year was sorted Dumbledore stood and came to the podium.

"Welcome newcomers, and welcome back everyone else. This year we have an unusual, but not unheard of enrollment." Dumbledore looked towards the back of the huge room. "Harry Thistle if you would please come up here so we can get you officially sorted." Almost as one the student body turned to watch the handsome male stand away from the wall and stride up to the dais.

"That's the prat who banished me and Padfoot," James whispered hoarsely to the others.

"Him? You sure? He looks like a knob jockey to me," Peter disparaged.

"And like sexual preference makes a difference," Remus bit out, more than tired of Peter's homophobic attitude, as if being called gay was the worst insult in the world. It had been becoming harder for Moony to remain friends with Peter when he was so obviously prejudiced.

Peter looked offended. "Of course it does!" Remus would have retaliated but Harry had made it up to the stage and Dumbledore spoke again.

"Harry here was home schooled before, as some young wizards and witches are, but due to extenuating circumstances he has been enrolled in the seventh year to finish his education at Hogwarts. I hope that each of you will give him a warm welcome."

"We'll give him a warm welcome," James muttered darkly, "Right Padfoot?"

"Hm?" Sirius was too busy staring at the male wizard to pay much attention to his friend. Harry was just that good-looking. Sirius wasn't really gay, he had never had sex with a guy before, but he had to admit Harry had him interested from the moment he noticed him in Diagon Alley. The more he watched him and the more he spoke to him the more intrigued he became. "Oh, yeah sure Prongs."

James gave him an odd look but didn't comment. "Someone like him is a shoe in for Slytherin," Prongs alleged.

"Harry if you would," Dumbledore gestured to the pointed hat resting on a stool. Harry nodded and took a seat, placing the worn hat on his head.

There was an excited murmur in the great hall. Which house would this mysterious wizard be sorted into?

* * *

><p>'Well, well what do we have here?'<p>

'Someone who doesn't like to be asked questions,' Harry thought back to the intrusive hat.

'Ooo a feisty one, that's a Gryffindor trait certainly. Lucky for me I don't have to ask questions.' Harry felt the foreign presence riffling through his head and it took a lot of control not to simply boot the hat out.

'Very funny. You should be a comedian kid. Too bad there isn't a house that values a good pun. There should be, it'd liven up the place, but seeing as there isn't...Slytherin maybe? Or Gryffindor. Either suits you fine, but then you've already made this choice before haven't you?'

Harry dug his fingers into the stool.

'Don't worry I'm not gonna rat you out kid. I know how to keep my brim shut. As for your house...Have you changed your mind? It goes against my stitches putting a parseltongue like you in Gryffindor. Salazar would have incinerated me'

This was it, a defining moment. It shouldn't have been an issue, his objective lay in Slytherin. His job would be much easier if he were a Slytherin although Dumbledore never mentioned what house he should sort to. Did the old wizard even know that you could choose, or had he trusted Harry to make this decision? Not wanting to misplace that trust, Harry opened his mouth to say Slytherin, but unbidden the image of the key to his trunk rose up in his thoughts...The key whose symbolic meaning had shaken him out of his apathy...There was only one House for Harry.

"Gryffindor!" The Sorting Hat's voice rang out through the great hall, and the groans of disappointment from the other houses were drowned out by the exuberant applause coming from Gryffindor table.

Harry slipped off the hat and handed it to Professor McGonagall. Nodding once to Dumbledore, Harry left the dais and went to the Gryffindor table. Over at the Slytherin table Severus Snape was looking at him stunned. Meeting the boys eyes Harry shrugged, as if to say, "beats me."

"Hello Harry, my name is Lily Evans. I'm the Head Girl, so if you have any questions you can ask me."

Harry couldn't help but stare at his young mother, who looked very much like the pictures Hermione had shown him, specifically her eyes, which were the same dark, wine bottle green as his own eyes. When Lily started blushing Harry realized how his prolonged staring could be interpreted. Lily certainly didn't know she was reacting to her own son. Despite this Harry was loathe to disengage himself from her. He wanted to know her and forge a connection with her; if not as a son then at least as a friend.

"Then do you mind if I sit with you?" Harry lips lifted to reveal one of his very rare and very elusive smiles. "I don't know anyone here except for Severus and isn't it a big faux pas to sit at another house's table?"

"O-of course!" Her voice stammered a little as she led him back to where she was sitting. "You know Severus?"

"Yes we met on the train," Harry replied as he took the place some overly enthusiastic girls cleared for him to sit at so he could take a seat next to Lily.

* * *

><p>"Look at him sitting next to her," growled James, angrily stabbing at his food as he glared viciously at the handsome new wizard all the girls, including Lily, seemed to be gushing over. He was nothing special! Just a new kid, once his newness wore off no one would think twice about him.<p>

"He has to sit next to someone James," sighed Remus, quite used to his friend's displays of unwarranted jealousy. He was a bit curious about the new Gryffindor too, but what was the point of mobbing the poor bloke the moment he sat down like everyone at the table seemed to be doing.

"But why does it have to be her," James moaned, "He could sit next to anyone!"

"Don't worry James that poofer probably doesn't even like girls," said Peter. Blimey, did Remus want to smack him.

"You think?" James looked up from his slouched position hopefully.

Remus scowled, "I hate to break it to you James but he also has to room in someone's dorm too."

"No," James sounded horrified, "Moony tell me it isn't so!"

"It is," the werewolf informed him with zero sympathy, "Because you and Sirius—,"

"And Peter! Don't forget Wormy," interrupted James.

"And Peter," Remus ground out, "Played that horrible prank on William—,"

"Horrible! It was brilliant!" Interjected Sirius, who, Remus noticed, had finally stopped staring at the new student. Was he going to be as unreasonable as James?

"—Our dorm is now the only dorm that has a vacancy for another seventh year student," Remus finished, enjoying Peter's and James' reactions. Sirius on the other hand looked...Pleased. Did he think that Harry Thistle would be an easier target for pranks if he lived in the same dorm as them? God, Remus hoped not.

The confirmation came after supper when the marauders went to their dorm room and found a strange trunk sitting by William's old bed. Beside the trunk was also a climbing post that held aloft a very scary looking animal that nearly bit Peter's finger off when he tried to touch it.

"Why me," James groaned dramatically as he flopped down on his own bed, an arm thrown over his face.


	4. I'm Not Like You

**Author's Note:** Come on guys! Really? Only twenty-nine reviews? I've been working my tail off and I only get a measly twenty-nine reviews? I know you can do better than that. Here's the deal you get this story up to fifty reviews and I'll post the next chapter. Until then, ciao!

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><p><span>Now We Know What Not To Do Again<span>

I'm Not like You

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><p><em>I can't help but notice how different we seem<em>

_And though it was once my fondest dream_

_To be as you are and for us to compare_

_I can see now what before I wouldn't dare_

_That I'm not like you, and I don't want to be_

_Why be like you when I am like me_

_Perhaps under a scientist's microscope we are the same_

_But my own fortitude puts yours to crying shame_

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><p><strong>Date: September 3, 1978; 10:38 pm<strong>

**Location: Hogwarts Castle**

**Condition: School Year in Session**

* * *

><p>Harry didn't make it back to the dorms until late at night. The welcoming feast had been too overwhelming for him. When he felt himself losing control Harry slipped away to calm down in an empty corridor. At least now he could tell when he was about to lose it and could get away before anyone saw. Lily had seemed a little offended when he brushed her off but he could make it up to her later.<p>

Quietly Harry entered the dorm room, sure that his roommates would be asleep. The interior was dark and he could just barely make out five beds, four of which had their curtains drawn. Making his way to the one at the farthest end of the room, Harry could see his trunk and Ajax's perch in the darkness. Ajax sleepily lifted his head up from his hammock and yawned at him before going back to sleep. Smiling, Harry began to undress. He was just unbuttoning his trousers when he felt another's eyes watching him. Startled, he looked up and saw the bed closest to his had it's curtain open and Sirius Black was sitting up in it. Watching him undress.

"Do you mind!" Harry hissed furiously, feeling naked under Sirius gaze even though he still had trousers on.

"Oh don't mind me," Black had the audacity to reply, "I'm just enjoying the view."

Harry was speechless. How such a person as Sirius Black could exist Harry did not know. Who could say something like that with a straight face?

"Kindly avert your gaze," he ground out finally, unable to keep his face from flushing. Thank god it was dark in the room, he did not want Sirius to think he could affect him like that. Not to mention that there were scars on his body he didn't want anyone to see, least of all one of the marauders.

"Where were you?" Sirius asked. "Did you have another fit like you did in Diagon Alley?"

Finally deciding that he'd just sleep in his trousers, Harry climbed into bed. "None of your business," he replied icily before snapping his bed curtains closed. Outside the velvety curtains Harry could hear Sirius' bed creak as if he were getting off of it, but then Ajax snarled and Sirius must have decided not to push it.

Harry drifted off to sleep silently thanking the weasel.

* * *

><p>Sadly Harry's insomnia only allowed him to sleep for a few hours and even that sleep was fitful. Staring up at his bed's canopy, Harry couldn't help but miss Nestor. On the nights he couldn't sleep Nestor would often cast a gentle sleep spell over him or even stay up and keep him company throughout the long night. He had never realized how blessed he was to have such an attentive caretaker during his recovery and now he was missing it terribly.<p>

The wizard rolled about discontentedly for a while but soon grew tired of laying in bed. Cautiously Harry slipped out of bed, his eyes peeled for Sirius Black, but all of his dorm mates were fast asleep behind their bed curtains. Ajax, having heard him get up, sleepily looked up at Harry as he pulled on the shirt he was wearing earlier. Instead of going back to sleep Ajax slithered down his climbing post and followed him out of the room.

Two house elves were dusting in the common room, but they quickly scurried out of sight when they saw him. Harry felt a bit guilty for interrupting their chores but was secretly relieved since he had more than a few memories of almost being killed by a house elf. Was it any wonder that the odd little creatures made him nervous?

Continuing onward, Harry and Ajax slipped out from behind The Fat Lady's portrait and made their way quietly down the hall. This would be the first time Harry had snuck out after hours without his invisibility cloak. Reckless, maybe, but the prospect of getting caught was also exciting. During his journey through the empty corridors Ms. Norris nearly caught him once but was scared off when Ajax charged her. The feline turned tail and ran without ever seeing him.

Finding the Room of Requirement was hard and there were a few time where Harry ran into a dead end and became completely confused over where he was going in the first place. It took him nearly an hour to navigate the moving staircase and he was constantly dodging Peeves. By the time Harry did finally find the Room of Requirement he was incredibly frustrated with himself. How could he possibly carry out his mission if he couldn't even navigate the castle he'd lived in for six years?

Feeling incompetent Harry was nearly dragging his feet as he crossed back and forth in front of the blank wall, wishing to visit the place he missed the most. When a modest green door appeared on the wall Harry nearly broke a leg lunging for the handle. Throwing the door open he was bathed with a wash of sunlight, warm and soft as if it were truly filtered by the forest canopy. It fell through the abundant windows and skylights, falling on long work tables, scarred and worn from many years of use. Harry's face was nearly shining with delight as he stepped onto the warm wood floors, the third board creaking just as it had in Nestor's workshop. Ajax followed him cautiously and looked absolutely befuddled when he found himself sitting in a beam of sunshine. Harry walked up and down the rows of tables, some bare and some lined with tools the exact replica of Nestor's. Completely content Harry sat on one of the rickety stools, closing his eyes and just imagining that he was at Summerland Cottage making a new broomstick while Nestor took a break to make their lunch.

When he opened is eyes an unfinished broomstick was on the table before him. Carving knives and sanding pads lay scattered about as if Harry had only just set them down during a pause in his work. With a smile Harry picked up the sanding pad and ran it over the broom handle's length, getting a feel for its graceful curves and leaving a thin layer of fine dust in his wake.

Ajax seemed content to sunbathe on the floor so Harry spent the rest of the night slowly sanding away the broom handle's roughness. It would have been so easy for Harry to stay there, carving brooms in the Room of Requirement like some kind of phantom for the rest of his days. He had seriously considered it, but ultimately when morning came he left with Ajax and returned to Hogwarts' empty corridors.

* * *

><p>Entering the dorms once more, Harry glance at the grandfather clock that stood in the corner and saw that it was now a quarter till six. Breakfast wouldn't be served any earlier than 6:30 and taking advantage of the fact that his roommates had yet to rise, Harry took a nice hot shower, and after leaving the bathroom, pulled on a set of standard black school robes.<p>

Just after pulling the fabric over his shoulders one of his roommates got out of bed and Harry was suddenly face to face with Remus Lupin. Horrible memories rushed forward at once so intense that they melded together like a horrifying montage, each flashback bleeding into the next so fast that it sent Harry's mind reeling.

_"Every time a dementor comes near me I hear my parents dying," Harry said quietly to his professor. Trying to make him understand why he had to push himself so hard._

_Remus was coming at them, clawed hands outstretched, and his snarling jaws wide, but a black dog hurled itself at the werewolf, knocking it bodily away from the three terrified children._

_The Snatchers were behind them driving them onward to what only could be an ambush. Anti-apparation wards smothered them like wool blankets and they could only run and not look ba—_

_His chest was bleeding heavily and his right hip had been crushed in its jaws, crippling him. He could barely lift his head and it felt like his blood was full of molten metal—_

_Pain! So much pain! Cracking! Twisting! Breaking down and building up, and when it is all over he is alone. So terribly alone._

"Ah," the other boy seemed a little surprised at not being the earliest riser, but quickly overcame it, "Good Morning!" he offered heartily, "And welcome to Gryffindor House. I'm Remus Lupin one of your new housemates and a prefect. I suspected that you would end up in our dorm but when you didn't show up after the feast I thought that maybe I was wrong."

Breathe. That was all Harry could for a few moments after his attack. He stared dumbly at the hand that Remus was offering him. Was this reality? After a flashback like that he could hardly tell.

Remus withdrew his awkwardly, seemingly interpreting Harry's stillness as unfriendliness.

"Uh—well, I better go get ready," Remus trailed off awkwardly as he fled to the bathroom. The loud bang of the bathroom door being hastily shut must have woken up the others since Harry could hear the three other boys groan and rustle around in their beds.

Unwilling to leave it at that, Harry sat on his trunk and waited until the other boy re-emerged from the bathroom. When he did Harry stuck out his hand.

"Nice to meet you Remus Lupin, I'm Harry Thistle."

Remus looked taken aback at first, but soon a smile spread across his face and he accepted Harry's hand.

Amicably they carried on with some small talk as they exited the tower and headed to the great hall for breakfast. Remus assured him that they didn't need to wait for the others since they wouldn't really be up for at least another hour. They found the hall mostly empty except for a dozen or so students, mostly Ravenclaws, who were working on homework or reviewing for their classes. Taking seats next to each other at the otherwise empty table, Harry and Remus began to select food from the multitude of platters.

Harry wasn't quite sure why he was being friendly with Remus. While Lupin wasn't a bad guy he was friends with Sirius Black who happened to be overly interested in Harry. Not to mention he was risking discovery just being around the werewolf, and with no potential pay off for the risk. He was not apart of Dumbledore's plans and so should have no real value to Harry, and yet here he was having breakfast with the bloke.

"I noticed," started Remus as he rolled some sausages onto his plate, "that you and some of our other dorm mates don't get along. Why is that?"

Harry hummed for a moment, ladling some porridge into his bowl, as he glanced at Remus. He had never noticed that Remus was handsome before, perhaps not in the way of Sirius or his father, but no less charming in his own way. Remus had been so haggard in the future by his werewolf status there had been nothing youthful about him, though he was only in his thirties at the time. Harry found he liked Remus this way.

"If you're speaking of a James Potter and a Sirius Black then I would answer that I am not in the habit of being friendly with bullies."

Remus grimaced, he knew those tossers had down something to deserve it, instead he said, "I know they can be a little over zealous with their pranks, but they are good chaps most of the time. They just seem to be completely unreasonable when comes to a certain Slytherin."

At this Harry frowned a bit, before speaking honestly. "Severus Snape happens to be a friend of mine, and if its a choice between him and them then I'll choose him. Otherwise, I have no true animosity towards them."

The other boy frowned at him for a minute, but didn't comment, and instead tried to steer the conversation back to calmer waters.

"Where were you schooled before you came here?"

"I was home schooled," Harry replied nonchalantly. "Though my father was schooled here as a Hufflepuff, he graduated in the same year as the Headmaster."

"Wow," Remus stared at him, "He must have been very old when had you. James' parents are old as well. I think its why he's so spoiled," Remus smirked, causing Harry to shoot him a brief smile. "Is your Mother as long lived too?"

"No," Harry replied wistfully, "My mother was very young. She died soon after giving birth to me. I've always wanted to know her." And now he had the chance.

"Harry!" A feminine voice called from the great hall's entrance. Turning, Harry saw Lily making her way towards them. She plopped down next to him and in the atrociously backward manner of all morning people—began to chatter. "Good morning Harry, Remus. Did you sleep well last night Harry?"

"Well enough," he answered vaguely but Lily nodded happily. Harry guessed she wasn't to put out over his brush off last night.

Lily and Remus carried the conversation as the Great Hall began to fill, and soon enough James, Sirius, and Peter were skulking into the room. James, when he caught sight of Lily sitting with the newcomer, sent Harry a malevolent glare and sat a little further down the table. Surely so he could be close enough to listen but not close enough so they would be sitting together. Harry nearly snorted at the childish behavior. Sirius also sat by James, seemingly trying to catch Harry's eye but Harry was resolute in ignoring the other wizard.

"Mr. Lupin, Ms. Evans your schedules," Professor McGonagall handed the two their cards before turning to him. "Mr. Thistle according to your record and test scores you are eligible to take anything excluding Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, History of Magic or Muggle Studies. That leaves you with Potions, Defense against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, Charms, Astrology, and Herbology."

"I'll drop Astrology, Care of Magical Creatures, and Herbology," replied Harry.

The Professor's face pinched. "Are you entirely sure that it is wise of you to keep such a busy schedule, Mr. Thistle? Most of our students choose to take only two or three classes for their NEWTs. I understand that because you were never formerly educated that you might not be fully aware of the stress that accompanies the rigorous study that the NEWTs demand."

"Thank you for your concern Professor," Harry said coolly, "but it is unneeded. I'm fully prepared to take on the work load."

"As you wish, Mr. Thistle," she said, handing him his own schedule, which was immediately snatched by Lily.

"We have Potions together next period," said Lily, sounding pleased.

"Oh? Would you care to be lab partners then?" he asked and Lily flushed happily. James Potter on the other hand looked murderous. Oh well, he couldn't please everyone.

* * *

><p>Remus was becoming rather worried. James had yet to say a word since potions class began; all he did was stare wrathfully in Harry's direction. Sirius also seemed to be unable to take his eyes of the wizard, though for different reasons he was sure.<p>

The werewolf was completely convinced that Sirius was straight so this was also a bit unsettling. Harry wasn't necessarily his friend, but Remus liked him. He was very soft spoken yet he stated his opinion with undeniable force. Not to mention he seemed completely unintimidated by James and Sirius, who he himself was sometimes in awe of. Remus wanted to know more about him, and he did not want his overly jealous friend to start a bullying campaign against Harry like he had Severus Snape.

Remus was actually more worried about James than Harry. The quiet but intense boy didn't seem like the kind that would take any antagonism lying down. James was just too jealous and proud the recognize that. Remus had no clue why Sirius seemed obsessed with the wizard, but it also didn't bode well. Not to mention the subtle threat Harry had dealt them concerning their bullying of Severus. Perhaps Remus should warn them off before they did something stupid.

Tuning back into what Professor Slughorn was saying, Remus had to hold back a laugh as the socialite tried to collect Harry, who simply stared at him stoically. Slughorn prattled on about knowing Harry's father and flattered his family's accomplishments, but none of it was having any effect on Harry. Floundering under his blank stare, Slughorn gave up for the moment and continued the lesson.

"Well," he started, his bushy mustache twitching humorously, "now that you are all in your seventh year we can begin brewing more volatile potions. One wrong ingredient, one wrong turn could spell disaster." The small class of five Gryffindors and seven Slytherins shifted uneasily. "But," Professor Slughorn smiled jovially, "I'm sure those as talented as you will do just fine."

"Laying it on a bit thick isn't he?" Remus heard Harry whisper into Lily's ear from the table in front of his and James'. Lily jabbed the boy in the side with her elbow, but also giggled. Remus had never heard Lily giggle before. Shooting James a glance, he grimaced when he saw his friend hadn't taken his eyes off the two.

"Today we will be brewing a very potent elixir that was once called the fountain of youth. Can anyone tell me why it was once called this?"

Lily's hand was in the air before Slughorn could finish asking the question.

"It was once called the fountain of youth, because the witch who created it, Vanessa Verita, lied about its true properties and claimed that it gave the drinker immortal life. She filled her garden fountain with the potion and invited anyone to have a drink. When her neighbors tried it they were turned to stone," Lily explained.

"Which is why it is now rightfully dubbed Medusa's Malady," Slughorn finished, clapping happily. "Ten points to Gryffindor Miss Evans, well done." Lily blushed happily at the praise. Reaching to the bench next to him, the professor lifted a clear bottle, filled with cheery gold liquid, for the whole class to see. "Despite its misleading looks this notorious potion was once on the Ministry's Unbrewable List. It was taken of the list once an antidote was created, but make no mistake, this potion is deadly."

Remus watched in awe as the professor drew some of the shimmering liquid into an eyedropper and then lifted a squirming mouse to the small tube. Once he managed to squeeze a drop into the rodent's gaping maw it let out a shriek before turning to stone.

The professor held the frozen mouse out on the palm of his hand for the class to see. "This is the result of drinking Medusa's Malady. There has been an antidote since the thirties, but if an accident was to occur," suddenly Slughorn dropped the mouse and it fell to floor, shattering on impact, "no amount of it could put the pieces back together."

The sight of the mouse's gritty remains certainly did its job in instilling a fearful respect for the potion among the students. Seeing this, Slughorn promptly vanished the rubble and gestured to the blackboard. "The directions are on the board. Begin."

Soon the entire room was filled with the sounds of ingredients being chopped, amounts measured, and potions boiling. About thirty minutes into class Remus was working diligently at cutting snapdragon stems, so diligently that he didn't notice James' sabotage until it was too late.

Lily had gone to the supply cupboard and Harry's back was turned to the potion when James levitated a demiguise hair into their cauldron. The bang was deafening and the potion exploded, splashing all over Harry's back as he gave out a startled cry. The material of his robes began to smoke as the unfinished potion turned acidic and ate through his clothing.

Remus immediately rounded the table to help Harry pull his outer robes off, but the acid was already eating into the shirt underneath and so they pealed that layer away also. By the time Slughorn crossed the room and vanished the potion Harry was standing in the middle of class naked from the waist up.

Frantically Remus checked the other boy's back for burns, but, thankfully, only found pale muscled skin. Remus shut his eyes and sighed with relief, though it was barely audible amid the chaotic din of the classroom.

"Thank you Remus."

Remus opened his eyes, smiling, but then his gaze fell on Harry's chest as the boy turned. The smile fell from his face and Remus suddenly felt like _he_ had been dosed with Medusa's Malady and turned to stone. He could not move. He could not breathe. Harry himself seemed equally frozen when he realized where Remus's gaze had fallen.

"Class is dismissed," Slughorn called out as he guided Harry to the doors hurriedly, "while I take Harry to the infirmary." The two vanished through the doors with Lily following closely behind. Still buzzing, the other students vanished their own potions before trailing out after them.

Remus, however, stayed frozen.

"Remus? Are you okay?" Sirius asked him tentatively, James looked worried too. They were the only students still in the room.

Slowly the wizard's head turned and he gazed at his two friends, horror painted across his face. When opened his mouth to tell them what was wrong, his voice was barely a whisper.

"He's a werewolf."

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><p>Remember people, fifty reviews and you get a new chapter posted, and not a moment sooner!<p> 


	5. It's Not His Fault

**Author's Note:** Ok with this chapter posted I'll be changing the story's title to just Now We Know What Not to Do Again and the old version will be changed to Now We Know What Not to Do Again:Old Version. There were a lot of great reviews last time, I love getting your guy's reactions, let's keep it up!

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><p><span>Now We Know What Not To Do Again<span>

It's Not His Fault

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><p><em>It's not his fault, I swear it's not<em>

_Who could've known I'd draw this lot_

_Please don't blame him, it doesn't make this right_

_Blaming the dead is just a losing fight_

_It's just worse now that he isn't here_

_My limbs shake and my heart fills with fear_

_And as my crazed mind begins to sink_

_"I'm so alone!" Is all I can barely think_

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><p><strong>Date: September 3, 1978; 10:47 am<strong>

**Location: Hogwarts Castle**

**Condition: School Year in Session**

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><p>"Who's a werewolf?" asked Sirius, confused.<p>

"Harry is," Remus answered breathily. His face was pale and his hands wouldn't stop shaking.

"What?" squawked James. "Why would you think that?"

"The scars," Remus said simply. Those scars that ripped upraised lines of white across Harry's otherwise flawless chest and mottled the tissue on his right hip, and though his trousers obscured part of the scar, Remus was sure it was a bite mark.

"What scars?" asked James, but Sirius seemed to understand. He had seen them too. He was always staring at Harry Thistle, but Remus was damned if he knew why.

"Moony, those claw marks could've come from anywhere," reasoned Sirius, placing a placating hand on his friend's trembling shoulder. Remus glared at him.

"I know what I saw," snapped the werewolf, shaking Padfoot's hand off his shoulder, "and those were made by a werewolf." His trembling stilled and Remus balled his fists and glared defiantly at the two. He knew he was right. Why were they even arguing with him? It wasn't as if he didn't see the same scars on his own body every day.

"Claw marks? Thistle has werewolf scars?" James seemed disturbed by this news. "But Remus couldn't it have been, I don't know, a bear or something?"

"Yeah," Sirius chimed in, "or some other kind of magical creature."

"No!" snarled Remus. "Do either of you even listen in Defense against the Dark Arts? Scar tissue caused by a werewolf is distinguishable by its white coloration in normal lighting and its silver luster when exposed to moonlight, and Harry's scars were bone-white!"

His two best mates traded glances, as if asking the other what he should do.

"Look, Moony—," James started but Remus, remembering something, abruptly cut him off.

"What were you thinking James?" Remus railed against him. "You could have killed him with that stunt you pulled in class! If you weren't my friend I'd turn you over to Professor Slughorn in a heartbeat! Don't you ever so much as think that tampering with a highly dangerous potion is a good prank ever again or so help me Prongs I'll throttle you!"

James, in his defense, looked somewhat sheepish.

"But Moony," he whined, "you saw how that git was getting all cozy with Lily. I had to do something! Come on Sirius, back me up."

Sirius was dubious. "I don't know Prongs. That was pretty dangerous. You shouldn't have gotten so worked up. Lily and Harry were just sitting together." Remus couldn't help but be a little surprised that Sirius was taking his side over James'. James was surprised too.

"Like you're the right one to preach about not getting worked up! A bit hypocritical of you after that stunt you pulled with snivellus—,"

"Stop it!" Remus snapped. He did not want to air that particular piece of dirty laundry ever again. To think if James hadn't interfered, he and Sirius would have become murderers that night.

James shut his mouth but sent Sirius a scathing glare that the other boy returned.

"I-I think I should tell Harry I'm a werewolf too, so he knows he's not alone," Remus sighed, pushing a hand through his hair.

"No way!" shouted James. "We can't trust him! Bloody hell Remus you just met the guy and you want to tell him our secret!"

"Excuse me James, but I believe this my secret to tell, not yours!"

"You're dead wrong Moony," interrupted Sirius, "Ever since we became animagi this became our secret. You're not the only one who'd be in big trouble if this got out."

Remus' eyes narrowed but he jerked his head in recognition of what Sirius said. He shouldn't have said it was his secret alone. Since first year they had been in this together, but…He doubted Harry had had that particular blessing bestowed on him. It was far more likely that he was suffering his condition alone. Remus remembered how much it hurt to be alone. He would tear at his own flesh in order to get rid of the loneliness. Suicide during a transformation wasn't uncommon if the werewolf didn't have a pack, in fact it was the most common way for a werewolf to die.

"You're right," the werewolf admitted, "This is our secret and I don't know Harry very well, but—I know how it feels to be alone, without a pack, and its torture. Everything horrible about being a werewolf is a hundred times worse when you suffer through it alone." Tears were prickling at the corners of Remus eyes and his hands clutched at his chest desperately. God, he felt like such a girl, but just remembering that pain was horrible.

"Moony," Sirius whispered soothingly, stepping closer to his friend. James was already there with an arm around his shoulders.

"I'm not alone anymore," Remus gasped, "but Harry...Harry is alone, and I don't want him to be."

The other two marauders exchanged looks.

"Maybe we should tell him," Sirius trailed off, looking at James.

"Look Moony, we shouldn't rush into this. The full moon is in a week. I say we wait until then and get something foolproof before we tell him anything. There aren't a lot of places you can change into a werewolf around here without being noticed. Two of us will be with you at the shack and one will track Thistle with the map. That way we'll know for sure."

Sirius and Remus stared at James disbelievingly.

"What?"

"Wow Prongs! That actually sounded well thought out," said Sirius a look of awe lighting his face.

"Piss off!" snapped James.

"Where was all this intelligent planning when you blew up Harry's cauldron?" asked Remus, his lips twitching upwards into a smile.

"I think our friend's turning into a Slytherin, Moony!"

"You guys suck," grumbled James.

* * *

><p>After escaping Madam Pomfrey's grasp Harry found himself unwilling to go to his Charms class and instead slipped into a quiet section of the library. The botched potion, thankfully, did nothing more than eat through his robes, though that in itself was disastrous enough. He was sure Remus had seen his scars and had connected the dots. The young wizard was actually surprised that the other hadn't rushed to confront him yet, but he counted his blessings. Harry had planned to keep the marauders completely in the dark and yet on the first day of school those plans had all turned to shit.<p>

If he was lucky the marauders would just shrug it off and leave him alone, and if he was really lucky Voldemort would die of a coronary and Harry could live the rest of his life out polishing broomsticks.

Voldemort.

That's where it had all started.

_Harry should have been more careful-should have taken Ron's warning more seriously, but he hadn't and now they were paying for it. All it took was one slip up and their safe haven, a tent in the Forest of Dean, was overrun with snatchers._

_The three had been listening to a radio broadcast. On the air Fred revealed that the Dark Lord was abroad, giving all the evidence Harry needed to validate his theory about the Elder Wand._

_"He's abroad! He's still looking for the Wand, I knew it!"_

_"Harry-"_

_"Come on, Hermione, why are you so determined not to admit it? Vol-"_

_"HARRY, NO!"_

_"-demort's after the Elder Wand!"_

_"The name's Taboo!" Ron bellowed, leaping to his feet as a loud crack sounded outside the tent. "I told you, Harry, I told you, we can't say it anymore! We've got to put a protection around us quickly. It's how the find-"_

_But Ron stopped talking, and Harry knew why. The Sneakoscope on the table had lit up and begun to spin; they could hear voices coming nearer and nearer: rough, excited voices. Ron pulled the Deluminator from his pocket and clicked it. Their lamps went out._

_"Come out of there with your hands up!" came a rasping voice through the darkness. We know you're in there!You got half a dozen wands pointed at you, and we don't care who we curse!"_

_Harry looked around at the other two, now mere outlines in the darkness. He saw Hermione point her wand toward the tent's opening, silently mouth the words, 'Get ready to run.' With a blinding burst of yellow light the campsite was decimated by a wave of energy that knocked the snatchers flat on their backs. His ears were ringing and his eyes were burning but that didn't slow his flight away from the tent. Behind him he could here Ron huffing with the effort to keep and Hermione was racing by his side. Together three leapt and stepped over the bodies of their pursuers and sprinted into the forest._

_Shouts of "It's him! It's Harry Potter!," and "Catch them!" followed them into the night._

_The trees in the Forest of Dean grew tall and their thick canopies prevented any substantial undergrowth. Leaving the trio with a somewhat easy terrain to run on but also gave them no cover from their pursuers. The red light of stunning spells shot through the trees at them, burning the night air._

_"Scatter!" yelled Hermione, veering off to left and Ron hurled himself to the right. Harry knew that by separating the snatchers couldn't concentrate their fire, but he was also scared that they would lose each other in the madness._

_'This is all my fault,' thought Harry._

_Hearing the snatchers whooping and hollering behind him, Harry realized that Hermione's plan hadn't worked the way she wanted. The snatchers hadn't split up to pursue them all, but instead now concentrated all of their efforts on Harry._

_"Good," Harry gasped as he sprinted down a hill, a curse shattering the tree trunk by his head. He was the fastest runner of the three. If anyone could shake the snatchers it was him, but if he couldn't then at least his friends would be safe._

_His trainers became soaked as Harry dashed across a creek bed and his legs screamed as he pushed himself up an embankment. Behind him spells flew and smashed little craters into the turf behind him. Gasping as he reached the top of the hill, Harry glanced back and saw that the snatchers were no longer chasing him but were rather hurling curse at him from the other end of the stream. Confused but optimistic Harry began to descend the hill, sliding most of the way on his bum. Once he found flat ground he began to jog, glancing all around him and waiting for the other shoe to drop._

_After a few minutes Harry began to believe he had truly gotten away while leading the snatchers away from Ron and Hermione. Then the shoe dropped. The stolen wand in his hand came up just in time to shoot a curse when a werewolf leapt at him from a high tree branch. The curse slammed into the creature's chest and knocked it into a tree trunk. It yelped and crumpled to the ground, but Harry could see through the trees that it had not been the only one._

_'That was why they didn't follow me,' Harry cursed as he slashed his wand at an approaching werewolf, cutting its shoulder open, 'They were herding me into their friend's jaws and didn't want to be in the crossfire.'_

_"Sectumsempra!" Harry shouted slashing his wand as the wounded werewolf charged and the spell cut so deeply into its head that it died instantly. By the time Harry had dealt with that werewolf, the others were upon him. He couldn't see them much in the darkness and they never stood still long enough to be counted but Harry guessed that there were at least another four werewolves circling him._

_He was able to pick off the first two because they had attacked separately, but now they would attack at once. At the same time as one charged at him he heard the air behind him whistle as a second leapt at him. Desperate Harry threw himself to the left, landing on his shoulder harshly just as the two wolves collided beside. Before he could stand another was on top of him but Harry blasted it off before it could bite. Stumbling up, Harry began to run._

_Firing curses behind his back, Harry tore through the forest trying to put distance between him and the werewolves. The chase seemed to only excite the creatures more as they tore after him. As he ran, something reached out and snatched Harry's leg out from under him. The only thing that saved the wizard was the punching hex he threw at the beast as he fell. In his desperation he put much more power into the hex than was called for and the force of it crushed the thing's nasal bone straight into it's skull._

_Even as it fell, another was climbing over dead body and going for Harry's throat, as if killing him was the most important thing in the world. This one he kicked in the face before throwing a bombardus hex straight at its chest, physically blasting the werewolf away from him. Scrambling to his feet Harry was able to take two steps before something slammed into his back and Harry let loose a startlingly loud scream as the werewolf's claws dragged across his chest and left leg. That scream was nothing compared to the howl of agony that left his mouth when the werewolf sank its fangs into his hip, digging into the flesh and snapping the bone._

_Harry sobbed and wailed as the thing worried his hip with its teeth and he hardly noticed when one of the other werewolves howled. Frantic, Harry shot nameless spells over his shoulder, trying to get the creature to let go of him. A yelp signaled that one of his spells must have hit and the werewolf dropped him painfully to the ground. Glancing up from pupils blown with pain Harry saw the wolf stand over him with bared, bloodied teeth, but before those teeth descended once again, the creature's ears swiveled and it turned to look into the distance._

_"Ahhwoooo!"_

_Harry could now hear it if he strained his ears. Relief and dread filled his stomach when he realized that was no wolf. Relief because as terribly unconvincing as the sound was to him, the werewolves were too stupid to notice the difference between a human imitating a wolf's call and an actual wolf. Dread because Ron was going to lead the wolves straight to him._

_As the werewolves left his bloodied, forgotten body on the forest floor, Harry tried to howl but his throat was raw and unable from anything except a husky wail. The werewolves were unconvinced and disappeared into forest, ignoring Harry's desperate attempts to draw them back-to spare his friend._

_Sobbing, Harry let his head fall back into the leaves._

_'What had Professor Snape said?' Harry thought as his veins lit with liquid fire, '"There is no poison more agonizing than werewolf venom. Once exposed, you change, or you die. Wish for death if you have any sense."'_

_By the time Hermione found Harry shivering and moaning in dirt, his wounds oozing black puss, Harry was well on his way to taking Snape's advice._

_Ron certainly had._

Coming back from the memory, Harry couldn't stop a choked cry from leaving his lips. These flashbacks were becoming too real and happening far too frequently, and these people that he hardly remembered as people, but as nightmares, were triggering them.

"Thistle," a voice asked from behind him, "are you alright?"

Startled, Harry looked over his shoulder and saw Snape standing behind him with a stack of books in hands. The wizard looked a bit embarrassed and awkwardly glanced away from where their eyes had briefly met.

"I'm fine," Harry answered before he pushed out a chair, silently offering him a seat. Snape seemed apprehensive as he set his books on the table and gingerly sat down, as if Harry would whip the chair out from under him. Frowning, Harry realized that that had probably happened to the Slytherin before.

"I saw what Potter did," Severus muttered, glancing at him, "He sabotaged your potion when you weren't looking."

"I figured as much," Harry sighed, leaning back in his chair.

"What are you going to do about it?" The boy couldn't quite mask the eagerness in his voice.

"What am I going to do about it," Harry repeated, thinking over his options. If he retaliated then James would know that he couldn't be bullied, but there was also a chance he would retaliate again. Having a rivalry with the head boy would draw far too much attention, and besides Harry didn't really care what James did as long as it didn't interfere with his goal of befriending Snape. "Nothing."

"Nothing," Severus repeated dumbly.

"As cliche as it sounds Severus, I don't want to sink to his level." He looked disgusted with Harry.

"You are a Gryffindor," Severus said as if it were a vile insult.

"And you're a Slytherin," Harry replied looking Severus in the eye, "Does it really matter Severus?" This was it, the moment Harry found out if his sorting had damned his mission. The young potions master blew out a breath, and also leaned back in his chair. The tension was gone.

"No, I guess it doesn't."

Harry smiled.


	6. Preparing For The Breakdown

**Author's Note:** Yo! I'm sorry about how long this has taken. It would have been up weeks ago but my computer bugged out on me and ended up deleting most of the chapter before I saved it. Anyone whose had that happen to them, I know you feel my pain, and it was hard to write it all over again. It's also missing a whole scene so its a bit shorter than usual.

Thanks to a review from **CeilingFan** (great name by the way) I've decided to hold a contest. My summary for this fic is kind of lame and I'm really not good at writing summaries, so if any of you guys have anything in mind please share it in a review! If its better than the old summary (just about anything would be) I'll replace it with the one you've come up with.

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><p><span>Now We Know What Not To Do Again<span>

Preparing For The Breakdown

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><p><em>As the burning agony spreads, I fall to the ground<em>

_Steeling myself, I'm preparing for the breakdown_

_To this unstoppable fiend I am resigned_

_This beastly hell has no room for mankind_

_With sharpening teeth I bite my tongue_

_Through whimpering cries I beg to be numb_

_It's too much to bare, but bare it I will_

_I'll be gone until the monster's had its fill_

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><p><strong>Date: September 10, 1978; 7:23 pm<strong>

**Location: Hogwarts Castle**

**Condition: School Year in Session**

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><p>Sirius felt very much like a perverted stalker. The stalker feeling wasn't new, he had followed people in the past often enough, usually in preparation for pranks, but he'd never stalked someone he lusted before.<p>

Yes, he, Sirius Orion Black, lusted after Harry Thistle. He was shameless enough to admit it. Not that he'd go screaming about it through the halls, but he could be honest with himself. At first it had only been curiosity that drew him the wizard, maybe there was a little attraction, Harry's snappishness was undeniably cute, but it hadn't really hit him until he saw Harry undressing.

The room had been dark enough that Harry hadn't noticed he was being watched until he was unfastening his trousers. Despite what everyone might think Sirius was not without shame and had been feeling some of it then, but he just hadn't been able bring himself to look away. The curve of Harry's back had just begged to be traced with his eyes and the way his pale skin practically glowed in the darkness drew his gaze like a moth to a flame.

Sirius's mouth was practically watering at the memory and for a moment he just stared dazedly ahead, remembering the way Harry's thick black hair had curled messily against the back of his neck. Or the way Harry had been so obviously embarrassed when he caught Sirius staring.

Sirius was shaken out of his reverie when he saw Harry's form disappear beyond a corner. Making sure that James' Invisibility Cloak was completely covering him, Sirius pursued. The Marauder's Map lay folded and heavy in his pocket, there to use incase he lost Harry, otherwise Sirius was happy to do it the old fashion way. It was actually a bit of a turn on to be stalking Harry through the corridors, and if that didn't make Sirius feel like a pervert nothing would.

Rounding the corner, he had to hastily dodge a couple of fifth years going the opposite way. Once he was past them he could see Harry disappearing down yet another corridor. The unseen wizard hastened to catch up, wanting to keep a right on Harry's arse. Figuratively, honest.

"Where the hell is he going," Sirius panted quietly to himself. If Harry wasn't a werewolf, Sirius would be damned to know why the wizard was running around these abandoned corridors late at night. The only students who came here were couple's looking for some privacy to snog or shag. Discontent boiled in his gut at just the thought of Harry snogging, let alone shagging, someone else. Not that Harry would have someone to snog so soon. The wizard had only been here for a week and he hardly talked to anyone other than Lily or Snivelus.

'Snivelus,' Sirius thought in disgust. He didn't have any competition there, even a flobberworm was more attractive than that grease pit. Though it was bad enough that Harry was even friends with the likes of him. Sirius would have to do something about that, he didn't want Snape to even think he had a chance with Harry Thistle.

Harry was making his way up one of the moving staircases when Sirius finally caught up. Mentally cursing, he tried to follow Harry closely, but he lost him on the fifth floor landing when the staircase he was on broke away and rotated around. Frustrated, Sirius made sure to see that the wizard had gone onto the seventh floor, and hurried furiously to get there another way.

By the time he had made it there Harry was long gone. Cursing under his breath, Sirius pulled the Marauder's Map from his pocket and searched the seventh floor for Harry Thistle's name. When he didn't find it at first glance the wizard went back over it again, reading carefully, but the only set of footprints and name on the seventh floor was his own. Baffled, Sirius search the surrounding floors and found nothing. Then he searched the entire map of Hogwarts and couldn't find Harry Thistle anywhere. Finally Sirius physically searched the entire seventh floor, top to bottom but couldn't find a trace of Harry.

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><p>Harry slumped against the door as soon as it closed. His skin was covered in feverish sweat and his body was trembling with the effort it was taking to delay the change even a few minutes. The door he rested against disappeared into the the wall, leaving the Room of Requirement with no exit. It was almost shocking that the room he had come to associate with Nestor's workshop had morphed into such a prison.<p>

The room itself was small, circular, and lined with torches that lit the room in a hellish light. At the center of the room four lengths of chain were bolted to the floor. The chains were made of thick iron and at the end of each was a heavy cuff. He would have to chain himself down. It was the only way to keep the werewolf from tearing itself apart trying to get out of the room.

Stumbling forward, Harry fell to his knees as a surge of pain overtook him. He could feel his heart racing faster and faster, signaling that the change was nearly upon him. He crawled desperately towards the center of the floor where he could reach the chains. With shaking hands, Harry clamped the first manacle around his right ankle and the second around his left. There was no time now to strip, but Harry did have enough foresight to tear off his shoes, something that would be infinitely painful to change in, before his body was bent backward by another seizure.

"Fu-uck," Harry moaned painfully as he recovered. The muscles in his arms were still spasming as they reached up and cuffed his left wrist. Blood was pounding in his ears and his heart felt like it was trying to rip its way out of his chest as he tried to awkwardly secure his remaining arm. Finally the last manacle clinked shut, and not a moment too soon, since the joints in his limbs had begun to stretch out of their sockets.

The long denied change ripped through his body like shrapnel, bending his spine upwards as he screamed bloody murder. Popping sounds ran up his back as his backbone separated. His bare feet began to stretch as his legs bended into haunches. His nails thickened, blackened, and curled forming monstrous claws on his feet and hands. The seams of his trousers and shirt ripped open as his body bent in ways his clothes weren't been tailored for.

His newly formed claws scratched desperately at the floor, trying to find something to hold onto as yet another seizure took him, and the rattle of the chains were drowned out by the gurgling scream he emitted as his skull stretched forward. His ears became pointed flaps of skin and huge white canines erupted from his gums, curved and long like snake fangs. His glasses had been knocked clear off his face, revealing a tortured pair of green eyes, before they were consumed by a yellow light.

With one last spasm everything inside of it seemed to settle. Black fur grew from its leathery grey skin, concealing it. The werewolf whimpered as it lay limply on the cold floor, recovering from the brutal transformation. The physical torment was over, but the mental anguish was just beginning.

As Night bore on the werewolf's screams echoed about the small chamber but never filtered past it. The castle's inhabitants slept peacefully through the night, ignorant of the monster taking up residence at Hogwarts.

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><p>"What do you mean he disappeared?" asked Peter, his chubby face screwing up in confusion.<p>

"I lost Harry on the seventh floor, but when I took out the map to find him his name wasn't there," explained Sirius as he slumped into the chair beside Remus' hospital bed. It had been a few hours since dawn, but because it was a Saturday almost everyone was still asleep. The infirmary was empty except for them and Madam Pomfrey had left soon after giving Remus his potions, allowing the Marauders to sneak in to see their friend.

"Thats crazy! Are you sure that he wasn't on the map?" demanded James as he bolted up from where he had been laying on one of the beds.

"Yes," Sirius reiterated, "He wasn't anywhere on the map. I must of checked a dozen times! And I even searched the entire seventh floor for him, but I couldn't find a trace." After giving up on finding Harry, he had returned to the dorm to get some sleep, figuring that if he woke up early he could catch Harry coming back from wherever he had been, but when Sirius woke up Harry was already in bed sleeping.

"How could that be," muttered James, "the map has never failed us before."

"Maybe its because he's a transfer student?" guessed Peter.

"No," James replied tiredly as he rubbed a hand across his face, "That can't be it at all. Thistle is no different than any other first year student or visiting parent. He should show up on the map." The boy ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "What could have happened to make the map fail?"

"Maybe," breathed Remus sleepily, "Harry was somewhere in the castle we didn't map. Hogwarts is a thousand years old. There's bound to be places in it that even we haven't found." Remus's eyes drooped and Sirius could tell that he was just barely fighting off the sleeping draught Madam Pomfrey had given him.

"Yeah," Prongs snorted, hopping off the hospital bed, "Because its so likely that Thistle, who, may I remind you, has only lived in the castle for a week, found a secret room that none of us could find in six years?"

"Don't be a prat James," muttered Remus, "it's just a suggestion, and even if it is unlikely, at least its possible. I haven't seen you do better."

"I don't think Harry Thistle is his real name," retorted James, "Hows that for suggestions?"

"Yeah," Remus sneered, "Harry's really Lord Voldemort in disguise. Him being sorted to Gryffindor was just a way to throw us off."

Peter squeaked, "Don't say his name!"

"Come off it Peter," snapped Remus. Sirius didn't know what had happened between the two of them but he was surprised at how hostile Remus was being to Peter lately. Before he could think too deeply on it, Remus and James were back at each other's throats.

"Hey, it's a helluva lot better than him finding a secret room!"

"James' idea does make much more sense," Sirius admitted. "Though Remus could be right too, since even if Harry's name is fake no other name but mine had shone up on the seventh floor and I don't know how he could have gotten off the floor so fast."

James and Remus's feathers still looked a bit ruffled, but they had otherwise calmed down.

"Wouldn't Dumbledore have caught him if he tried to enroll using a fake name?" asked Peter who looked unsure. James seemed stumped, after all, it was hard to imagine that their Headmaster was fallible, but Sirius suddenly had a stroke of genius.

"Not if the Headmaster is helping him!" The others looked at him like he was insane. "Think about guys! If Harry really is a werewolf than who knows what kind of trouble he could be in with the ministry. Maybe Dumbledore's trying to protect him."

"Sirius, come on, you don't actually think Thistle is a werewolf, do you?" complained James.

"It's possible," he admitted, "Even more so after last night, I mean, really, why else would you be slumming around the castle on a full moon unless you were a werewolf?"

"Maybe he had a date with Lily," Remus teased and James' face went red.

"Moony! Don't even kid about that!" The wizard shouted.

Sirius silently agreed.

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><p><em>(There was originally a scene here where Severus considered his new friendship with Harry. After I lost the old chapter I just couldn't bring myself to write the whole sordid affair over again. Just let it be known that he was staring at Harry and Lily from across the Great Hall, drowning in angst, as usual, and someone wasn't happy about him eyeballing Harry. Three guesses as to who.)<em>

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><p>Severus was taken completely off guard when Sirius Black appeared behind him, shoving him against the wall of the deserted corridor. His face collided with stone and he could feel the cartilage in his nose crunch. Stumbling and cross-eyed from the pain, Severus fell and landed on his arse in front of Black.<p>

"You should watch out Snivelus," the boy sneered, "Wouldn't want to damage that ugly mug of yours."

"Black," Severus hissed nasally, but as his hand went to grab his wand Sirius Black's foot shot forward and kicked him right in the stomach. As the force of the kick caused his stomach to empty, Severus curled forward and vomited right into his own lap. He could do nothing as a disarming spell ripped his wand from his pocket.

Black made a sound of disgust at the sight of the barely digested food, as if it wasn't his kick that caused the slytherin to puke.

"I saw you leering at him," Black said lowly, dangerously.

"What?" Severus gasped as he tried to choke back the remaining bile that stuck in his throat. "You're delusional-" Suddenly an invisible fist slammed into his face, bouncing his head back against the wall. Black had sent a punching hex at him.

"I'm only going to tell you this once, Snivelus. Stay away from Harry!"

Against his better judgment, Severus let out a nasally laugh.

"Why," the slytherin wheezed, "You got a crush on him? Is the great Sirius Black a fucking shirt lifter? Is that what you and Potter do all day in Gryffindor tower, bum each other?"

With a furious snarl, Black cast a choking hex on him that robbed him of air. Gasping, and floundering on the floor, Severus almost didn't hear Black give his parting threat.

"If you touch him, talk to him, so much as look at him, I'll make your life a living hell," he spoke, and then he sneered at him derisively before walking away, "As if an ugly bastard like you would have a chance."

Only when Black turned the corner did the spell lift and Severus was able breath again. Shaking and gulping air like fish, he stood up. Stumbling forward a few steps he was able to find his wand where that bastard Black had dropped it. He used it to clean the puke from his robes and the floor, before slapping a cooling charm over his face and neck to help the bruises. This wasn't the first time Black had roughed him up, albeit the attack was more ferocious than usual. Potter and his ilk may like to use spells to humiliate him but Black was the one who liked to hurt him.

With what dignity he could muster, Severus made his way down to the empty classroom in the dungeons that he utilized as his own potion's lab. He was not eager to meet the jeers and insults he would face back in the Slytherin common room.

He didn't notice the sixth year, standing in an alcove, who had witnessed the whole thing.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Don't forget to submit your ideas for a summary. You don't have to, but I have been informed, gently, that my summary for this story sucks hippogriff ass. So if anyone does think the have something better, than shoot me a review. Adios!


	7. My Past Is Mine To Keep

**Author's Note:** Yo! I want you guys to remain well aware of the dates at the beginning of each chapter, as there will be quite a few substantial time skips. Also the summary for this fic has changed thanks to all of you who contributed ideas. Thank you very much for your input! This one is rather short but the next one will be action packed!

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><p><span>Now We Know What Not To Do Again<span>

My Past Is Mine To Keep

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><p><em>Sometimes I forget how different I am<em>

_I forget I am not some innocent lamb_

_I forget that I'm sullied beyond repair_

_I fail to remember that I no longer care_

_I won't let you see it, this monster in me_

_So stop trying to coax it, prod it, and set it free_

_The darkness in my past is mine to keep_

_And I'll be damned before I let you dig so deep_

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><p><strong>Date: October 2, 1978; 2:00 pm<strong>

**Location: Hogwarts Castle**

**Condition: School Year In Session**

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><p>"Dementors."<p>

In contrast to the rest of the class who seemed to shiver and grow excited at the notorious creature's name, Harry stilled, forgetting for a moment to breathe.

_Hungry mouths gapped in front his face, desperately trying to consume his soul, but, for some reason, unable to. They're skeletal, decaying fingers tangled in his hair as they strained his neck back to the point of breaking-_

"For those of you who don't know," Professor Dacono's gaze seemed to rest heavily on the muggleborns, "Dementors are the darkest of creatures. Their diet consists of human souls and they take joyous pleasure in sucking all the happiness from a wizard and watching him turn mad. Naturally, since Dementors are predators who prey solely on humankind, they would normally have been hunted to extinction until they were no longer a threat."

"That's disgusting," whispered Lily, who sat next to him, at a table near the back.

"But thanks to the power and cunning of Benivello Greengrass the First, we were able to bend the Dementors to our will and command them to guard our prison. It is one of the many triumphs of our glorious race."

It may have just been Harry, but Professor Dacono seemed to be entirely too interested in praising wizarding-kind. Although the middle-aged man never outright said anything obviously degrading about muggles, the zeal in his voice and the harsh looks the muggleborn's like Lily received indicated that the professor was prejudiced. Perhaps, he was even a-but no-Harry couldn't possibly be so lucky.

"Our dominance over them was established when Benivello Greengrass created the Patronus Charm in 1705. The Patronus Charm has many forms which are dependent upon the caster's skill. Weak and inexperienced casters can only bring forth a wisp of white smoke, nothing more than a slight deterrent for a Dementor. With practice the average witch or wizard can conjure a shield of white light, which would prevent the dementor from feeding on you, but for only so long as the shield is erected. The corporeal Patronus, however, will drive a dementor away and can be used to control them, even kill them."

Despite his stoic expression, Harry was in no way comfortable with this subject matter. Even now he could feel the chill that never left him, begin to fill his bones, replacing the marrow with ice. Harry knew the ice was only in his mind, all the healers he'd asked had said so, but even knowing that, his body began to shiver.

"Harry," Lily hissed as Professor Dacono turned his back on them, "Are you alright? What's wrong?" His mother grabbed his hand before he could stop her, and gasped as she quickly dropped the appendage. "Harry you're freezing!"

"I'm fine."

"You are not fine!"

"Ms. Evans, I would appreciate it if you didn't interrupt my lesson," the Professor snapped, drawing the entire room's attention to their argument.

"Professor, Harry is sick. He needs to go to the infirmary," replied Lily. The Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher turned his hard stare unto Harry, who gathered all his will power in order to still his shivering.

"Is that right, Mr. Thistle?" The entire room's attention was trained on their little drama and it was beginning to make him nauseous.

"No, sir." He answered firmly. "Lily is overreacting."

"Very well," Lily opened her mouth to protest, but Dacono gave her no time before he rebuked her yet again. "Ms. Evans, the young man is perfectly fine, and if he isn't he has the self-restraint not to disrupt the whole class because of a little discomfort." Humiliated, Lily sank down in her chair under her professor's unyielding disdain. Harry felt bad for her, but a part of him was furious about what she had done. Not even Hermione would have...would have...

Consternation flickered over his face as Harry's mind sputtered out before it could complete the thought. Nothing was more frustrating than having his own mind so disabled.

"As I was saying, the incantation to create a patronus is 'Expecto Patronum.' The wand movement is a forceful flick and jab, but the true power of the spell comes from recalling your happiest memories and concentrating them into your patronus. If you would all turn to page 39 of your texts-"

The lesson went on much like that and Harry only listened with half an ear. Not only was Lily's potent misery and indignation distracting, but he was also plagued with his own insecurities when it came to the patronus charm. He could not cast one, not anymore. Yet another thing the dementors had taken from him. Hermione had regaled him with tales of how beautiful his stag patronus was, how powerful it was, how it was his greatest spell, as if he enjoyed having his face rubbed in it.

As the class drew near its end and all the students began to subtly pack away their things, Lily tried once again to speak to him.

"Harry," she started.

"Later," Harry interrupted quietly when he saw Professor Dacono's attention drift to their table. He did not want Lily to be humiliated again. Once was enough.

"I expect all of you to be practicing the patronus charm in your spare time. I am giving you more than enough time to master the spell, and expect to see a room full of corporeal patronuses when the final exams occur. Class dismissed."

Harry immediately stood and grabbed Lily's elbow, moving her quickly from the room and away from the professor's vindictive gaze. They made it to the courtyard before Lily yanked her arm away.

"Harry! What has gotten into you? Are you sick? Why didn't you tell Professor Dacono? He yelled at me for disrupting his class!"

Lily's face was red with anger and indignation, her delicate hands were clasped in tight fists at her sides, as if she would deck him if Harry provoked her further. Despite this, Harry couldn't help the small smile that curved the flat line of his lips upward, an expression that Lily always seemed to draw from him effortlessly and by the simple fact that she existed.

"Wha-what is that dumb look for," Lily's voice which had started off as annoyed became a low embarrassed grumble by the end of her sentence as she glanced to the side, blushing.

"You," Harry answered truthfully before he could stop himself. Lily blushed even harder as her gaze stayed ever firmly fixed on the empty spot to his left. Sighing, Harry sat down on the ledge of the courtyard's statue. He really should stop making his mother think that he was in love with her, but it was hard to show his affection without the girl taking it completely the wrong way. Was it always this hard to be friends with a girl, or was it just his and his mother's unique situation?

"Look Lily," he said, wanting the girls full attention, "I didn't mean for you to get yelled at by Professor Dacono, but I am angry that you would air my personal business in front of the class." Lily opened her mouth, but already knowing what she was about to say, he lifted a pale hand in a plead for silence. "I know you were worried about my health, but if you are my friend, then you should have trusted me when I told you I was fine. If you can't trust me, then I can't trust you."

Lily seemed to stare at him for a moment, before loudly sighing. She sank onto the ledge next to him and seemed rather deflated.

"Ok Harry, I get it. You don't want people gossiping about you, and I'll try not to put you in that position again. Now will you please tell me what was wrong with you in class?"

She seemed so worried, was this what it felt like to be mothered?

"It was nothing Lily-"

"Don't you lie to me, Harry Thistle! If what all you said about us needing to trust each other is true then you need to trust me too!"

Her face so pinched and determined that Harry had to fight off yet another smile. Turning away so he wouldn't, Harry decided that it wouldn't hurt to tell her some of the truth now that he knew she wouldn't spread it around.

"I'm afraid of them Lily," he said quietly so that no one else would overhear.

"Of Dementors?" she asked, surprised.

"Yes, terribly so. That's why I was frozen in class. Just the mention of them..." Harry shivered as he trailed off.

"Oh, Harry," Lily murmured, and suddenly he was encased in a pair of thin but strong arms. Harry forgot to breathe for a moment, an uncomfortable feeling rising up in him as he was hugged, for all he could remember, the first time in his life.

Before he could breathe, the hug was over and Lily withdrew, her cheeks tinted with embarrassment yet again.

"S-so are you well enough to visit Hagrid, or do you want to just go back to the tower?" She asked, not looking at him again. It was surprising that the girl could even recognize him with all the time she spent not looking at him.

"Lets go visit Hagrid, but first can we swing by the tower? Ajax hasn't been out all day." Usually Ajax had a permanent place on Harry's shoulders, but Professor Dacono didn't allow familiars to be in his classroom.

Together, the two leisurely walked up to Gryffindor tower, unhurried now that neither of them had anymore classes for the day. When they made it through the portrait they were met with a ruckus as their housemates crowded around James Potter and Sirius Black, both of whom were wrestling about on the floor.

"That is enough!" shouted Lily, pushing her way past the crowd so she could scold the two unobstructed. "There is no fighting in the common room! James, as head boy you should know better!" As his mother railed against the two, Harry slipped silently past and up the stairs to the dorm room, but no before noticing how Lily seemed to be taking out her ire on Potter rather than Black. It sort of reminded him of that awful period where Ron and Hermione couldn't be in the same room as each other without fighting. Maybe there really was hope for the two, though Harry hoped that they would realize it before they followed the same star-crossed path.

Harry would never forget that horrible sound Hermione made when they found Ron's mauled body.

Entering the room he shared with the marauders, Harry went directly to the climbing post, where his pet weasel resided domineeringly above the rest of the room's inhabitants. Once he was within reach, Ajax immediately slithered down the post and onto his shoulders. Bemused by the weasel's chatter, Harry turned around to leave, but was blocked by a body that was standing far too close for comfort.

"Do you mind!" he hissed, his body stiff with tension. Harry could've easily pushed past the other boy, but that would require touching another human being.

"Sorry," Sirius said, that damned arrogant smirk twisting his lips. Despite his insincere apology, the other wizard did not back away. In fact, Sirius seemed to lean even closer, unafraid of Ajax's snarls.

"Maybe I haven't made myself clear, Black. Shove off!" He finally yelled.

"So the Ice Prince of Gryffindor has some heat," Sirius's smirk grew wider as he leaned closer until his hooded eyes were mere inches from Harry's own. "I'm glad," he breathed.

"Harry?"

Steeling himself, Harry reached out and shoved the larger boy away. He smiled tightly at Lily, who stood indecisively at the top of the stairway, even as he fought down the nausea that touching other people caused him.

"Ready to go Lily?" Harry asked, giving the witch a tight smile that felt more like a grimace.

"Yeah," Lily's voiced trailed off as her eyes darted between him and Black.

As he left the dorm with Lily, Harry could feel Sirius's heavy gaze on the back of his head, and though he didn't bother to look back, he saw Lily shooting perplexed glances over her shoulder. Once they were out of the tower, Lily tentatively asked.

"What was that about Harry? Is Sirius bullying you? I know he did the same to Severus," she bit her lip as she mentioned her old friend. Harry waited until a crowd of hufflepuffs passed before he answered the witch.

"He's not bullying me," he told her, "I don't know what he's doing. I could take care of it myself if he tried to bully or hurt, but all he seems to want to do is confuse the hell out of me."

Lily seemed think about it for a moment before a teasing smile came over her face.

"Well he was standing very close to you up in the tower. Maybe he just wanted a kiss?"

The look Harry shot her had Lily laughing all the way to Hagrid's

* * *

><p>It seemed that no matter how ferociously Ajax growled, Hagrid only fell more in love with him. The half-giant cuddled the weasel as if it were a kitten, and paid no mind to the scratches it left on his skin. Meanwhile, Harry sat near the window and watched the thestrals through the trees.<p>

"Whats so interesting Harry?" Lily came and sat next to him, peering out the window, even as he looked away. "There's only trees out there."

Lily spared him a confused glance, she couldn't see them, and it struck Harry how tainted he was. Thestrals could be seen by those who had seen death, Harry couldn't quite remember who had told him that, but he was sure that she could see them too. Not like Lily, and if Harry had it his way, Lily would never have to see them.

"There's always more than trees out there Lily," huffed Hagrid, "Its the Forbidden Forest after all! Its got everything from centaurs, to unicorns, to-," Hagrid choked off as he peered out the window and saw what Harry had seen. White beneath his beard, Hagrid gave him a pitying look.

Harry hated it.

"Shouldn't you two be getting back to the castle," Hagrid hastened to distract Lily, "I'll walk up with you. It's almost dinner time."

As the three left the hut, Harry spared a final glance towards the thestrals, who were now flying above the trees. Like werewolves, they were feared, unlike werewolves, that fear was baseless. Soon Harry would use that terrible fear to his advantage, in a way that his old self would never have the stomach for.

_"What we do now, is for the greater good."_


	8. The Ugly Naked Truth

**Author's Note:** Hey beautiful people! Heres a great new chapter. Long and exciting, just like you like it. Feel free to pm me, if you have any questions.

* * *

><p><span>Now We Know What Not To Do Again<span>

The Ugly Naked Truth

* * *

><p><em>You just might find me, oh so, appealing<em>

_But you should know to fight that feeling_

_There's an ugly naked truth hidden in my skin_

_You don't want to know the places I've been_

_The things that I have done that I don't regret_

_Are the kind of debilitating flaws you wouldn't soon forget_

* * *

><p><strong>Date: October 31, 1978; 3:00 pm<strong>

**Location: Hogwarts Castle**

**Condition: Preparing for Halloween Feast**

* * *

><p>"Thanks for walking me to class, Harry," said Lily, directing a smile at him, "I'll see you at the feast."<p>

"I think I'll skip the feast tonight."

Lily looked flabbergasted.

"But why?" She exclaimed. "It'll be the Halloween Feast tonight. It's really fun, and you've never been to it before." She pouted at him with narrowed eyes that clearly said that he was being difficult.

"Halloween has never been a good night for me," he offered her a fake smile, knowing that he wasn't fooling her, "I'd just prefer to lie in, tonight." Lily looked liked she wanted to argue, but knew that she had no chance of convincing him otherwise, and really it was for the best. October 31st was the worst day of the year as far as he was concerned.

"Fine," she sniffed, "I guess I'll see you in the common room." After Harry nodded and handed over her books, she left into the classroom. He had barely turned the corner into another hall before Potter attacked, a purple spell crashing into the wall as he dodged.

"James, what the hell are you doing?" Black shouted.

His enraged father quickly crossed the distance between them and tried to punch him across the face. Harry ducked under his arm and sank his fist into the other wizard's stomach. James slumped against him, coughing, before Black came and dragged him away.

"Let's just get out of here, James," Black said as he bodily tried to drag his best friend away, which seemed to give Pettigrew the opportunity to try and curse him. Harry could feel the heat of the curse at his back and twisted to avoid it. The spell hit the wall and left a melted crater in the rock. Turning, Harry glared icily at the little coward, whipping out his own wand to reciprocate.

His spell, however, hit its mark and made the boy yelp in pain.

"Mr. Thistle! Mr. Black! Mr. Potter! Mr. Pettigrew!" the marauders all cringed when they heard McGonagall's voice. Harry merely put his wand away and waited for her to pass judgement. "Just what do you think you are doing! Brawling in the corridors like mountain trolls!"

"Professor, it was Thistle's fault," Peter whined as he brandished the arm Harry had cursed to break out in a painful rash. "He cursed me-"

"Say no more, Mr. Pettigrew!" The witch snapped, "Do not think I didn't see you try to curse Mr. Thistle when his back was turned. I am ashamed to have you in my house!" The chubby little rat recoiled at his Head of House's words, making Harry feel an ugly satisfaction at the traitor's pain.

"I and this school have had enough of you four," She turned to glare at each of them in turn, "And especially you Mr. Potter. You, as Head Boy, should be a role model for the rest of the students. I have half a mind to remove you from the quidditch team!"

Potter paled and started to babble frantically.

"No, Professor McGonagall. Please, anything but that! I'll do better, I swear, I swear!"

_"I fell down, I swear," the childish whine of his voice seemed to only make his kindergarten teacher pale even further. Desperately Harry tugged down his over-sized shirt, once more concealing the bruises, and looked up at Miss O'Dell with pleading eyes. "I swear!"_

Blinking rapidly, Harry came back to himself just in time to hear their punishments.

"As punishment for your distasteful display, all of you will not be participating in the Halloween Feast tonight." None of the marauders dared to protest after the tongue lashing they had just received, and Harry wasn't inclined to protest. He'd been planning on skipping the Halloween Feast anyway. "Instead you will be reporting to Hagrid late tonight to endure a detention in the Forbidden Forest." Harry understood that having to spend the night in the forbidden forrest was sometimes used to scare student's straight, as it had been used in Harry's first year, but he also found it was ironic that, this time, the one's facing the punishment weren't scared of the forest at all.

Sighing, he nodded along with the idiots and departed. Normally, Harry wouldn't particularly care about getting a detention, they were a waste of his time, but no more so than most of the things he was required to do to keep up his facade. Though having to serve that detention with three-fourths of the marauders was greatly annoying.

Sighing once again, Harry left to find Severus, who he had planned to spend time with until the feast started.

* * *

><p>He was standing outside of Hagrid's hut, when the other three finally arrived.<p>

"Man this sucks," exclaimed Peter, his chubby arms crossed defiantly across the front of his body.

"Hagrid, they're here," Harry called back into the hut, where Hagrid had gone to fetch the lanterns he'd forgotten.

"Jus' a moment, Harry" the half-giant called back, stumbling out a minute later with four lanterns in his arms. "There ya go Harry," he said cheerfully as he handed him a lantern. "And here's lanterns fer the rest of ya," he said gruffly, giving the other three a hearty glare. Hagrid seemed to have developed a protective streak in regards to Harry, despite his usual camaraderie with the Marauders.

"Ya all will be searching the forest fer Haxdaps. They're little black creatures that only come out at night, about the size o' a bowtruckle, and fluffy like a Pygmy Puff. I'll be needing a few fer the lesson next week. Ya will probably have ta go deep in the forest, so keep yer wands ready, yeah?" And then he turned, smiling once more at Harry, and went back into his hut.

"He isn't coming?" yelped Peter.

"No," Harry replied cooly over his shoulder, as he was already walking away, "I suggest splitting up. You lot go that way, and I'll go this way." Harry didn't wait for any reply and instead into the forest, determined to get away from the three. For some reason he felt on edge tonight, as if he'd fly into a rage at the slight provocation. It would be best to put distance between himself and the very provoking threesome.

* * *

><p>Sirius didn't even hesitate before following Harry into the Forbidden Forrest. He couldn't let his love interest get hurt, could he? There was no telling what kinds of dangerous creatures were just waiting to jump out and devour Harry. And speaking of devouring, Sirius couldn't take his eyes off of Harry's backside. The boy wasn't wearing his outer robe so Sirius had a clear view of his trousered bum, so round and fuckable. Practically begging for it...<p>

"Ack!" Sirius shouted unintentionally as he tripped over a tree root.

"If you're going to follow me, Black, be a little more subtle or you'll scare the Haxdaps away," Thistle's bored voice drifted back to him, even as the boy walked on.

"Padfoot! What the hell!" James snarled at him when he and Peter burst from the undergrowth. "Lets just ditch the ice ponce, collect the haxdaps, and get out of here. Moony needs us tonight," he hissed quietly. Peter leaned against a tree, panting, his lantern resting precariously in his fat fingers.

"I know, I know," Sirius huffed as he got to his feet. "Could McGonagall pick a worse time to hand out a detention? Of all the nights she could have chosen she chose the Night of Lycaon?"

"Yeah," Peter panted, "What was all that about anyway? I wasn't listening."

"Merlin, Peter," Sirius teased as he rolled his eyes. "The Night of Lycaon is like a once in a century sort of thing. Its a night when the moon is new, which is usually when werewolves and any other lunar cycle-tied creatures are at their weakest, but for some convoluted reason-its all advanced arithmancy stuff, so don't ask me-this night is somehow magically aligned to the creation of werewolves. That's why its called the night of Lycaon, because Lycaon was the first werewolf." Sirius snorted as he continued, "Some mad King that tried to feed people-steak to the gods because he was thrown out of a dinner party. The gods weren't so happy with him, so he was transformed into a terrible beast that hungered for the flesh of humanity." He said the last but in a spooky voice that made the other two crack up.

"Damn Paddy," laughed James, "How do you know all that rubbish? Remus just told us that Dumbledore said he would be changing into a werewolf at midnight, despite the new moon.

"Eh," Sirius shrugged, "You know how my family is. They told me bedtime stories about this kind of stuff." The evil bastards. They probably thought the nightmares it gave him would make him a better dark wizard. Yet another thing you were wrong about, mum.

"Thats brutal," Prongs snorted, and then froze, "Ah, not that I, ah-you know-think Thistle is a werewolf, but if he is..would he know about tonight?"

Sirius was sure he resembled a fish at the moment.

"Fuck! Why didn't I think of that! If Harry's out here, he probably doesn't know!" Sirius turned and started running in the direction he'd seen Harry go. "Thistle!" he shouted. "Harry!"

"Sirius, wait!" James caught up with him, grabbing his arm and spinning him around, "Calm down! If Thistle was a werewolf then Dumbledore would have warned him right? Right?" James shouted as he shook him.

"Right," Sirius shouted back, "But what if Dumbledore doesn't know! Maybe I was wrong and he doesn't know about Thistle. What then James?"

"Look, just calm down and lets think about this!" Sirius wanted to point out that James looked very far from calm himself, "We don't know if Thistle is a werewolf. We've never found any evidence!"

The more James talked, the calmer Sirius felt, but he was still worried. The last full moon was days ago and if Harry was a werewolf, thins would catch him completely off guard. Remus only knew because Dumbledore told him. The Night of Lycaon was not a well known event.

"What time is it, James?"

"Ah," the other boy fumbled to take out the pocket watch he'd received for his seventeenth birthday. "Its," James paled, "It's twenty minutes until midnight."

"Shite! We have to find him, James. We'll just tell him everything, and if we hurry we can make it to the Shack before midnight." James nodded dazedly and then started to turn about, a confused look on his face. "What is it?" Sirius asked uneasily.

"Peter," said James, his features beginning to turn fearful, "Where's Peter? Peter!"

"Ahhhhh!"

"Peter!" They shouted as they ran in the direction of the scream. Low hanging branching scratched painful, stinging lines on their faces, and thick roots sought to trip them, but the adrenaline made them practically fly through the forest to save their friend.

They burst through the undergrowth expecting to find their comrade being mauled by an enraged werewolf, but what they found was a severely embarrassed-looking Peter and a disgusted Harry.

"Get away from him!" James shouted before he'd processed the scene, "Peter, are you alright?"

"He's fine," Harry deadpanned, "Although I think Madam Pomfrey should check his voice box, on account of he screams like a little girl."

If Sirius wasn't in such a damn state, he would have laughed.

"Stuff it, ice ponce!" Peter squeaked, his insult falling flat, especially when Harry gave him a cold look. Really the student body's nickname for Harry, 'ice prince', later turned into 'ice ponce' by James, fit the wizard most of the time. Sirius, though, could tell that there was a lot more to Harry than the unemotional facade he showed to most people.

"What happened?" James huffed, "Why did Peter scream?" Sirius noticed that James was asking Harry, not Peter, instead he seemed to be discounting Wormtail in favor of Harry. Maybe James didn't really hate Thistle as much as he liked to pretend.

"He was running around like a chicken with its head cut off, scaring all the Haxdaps away. I went to get him to stop, but when he saw me he started squealing like I broke his dolly." Sirius did laugh then, though he felt a little guilty at Peter's betrayed look.

"Thats not how it happened!" Peter cried. "You jumped out at me! And-and after what you guys were saying, I thought he was going to kill me!"

Harry glared at them, "What now? Spreading rumors that I'm Voldemort himself?"

"Harry, we know you're a werewolf," Sirius decided to just come out with it. He watched Harry closely for a reaction, but if anything, the boy became even more closed off. This was so unlike when they confronted Remus and the twelve year-old burst into tears, begging them not to tell.

"No, we don't know," James butted in, "But if you are, Thistle, Merlin's balls, you have to tell us now!" He glanced at his watch. "Because you have eight minutes until you change!"

"What are you talking about," Thistle finally spoke, "Any idiot knows a werewolf only changes on the full moon, and that was over a week ago."

"You just have to trust us Harry," Sirius coaxed, he had seen how Harry's eyes were taking on a yellowish cast. "We need to go to the Shrieking Shack now, thats where Remus changes. If you stay this close to the school, you might hurt someone."

Harry took a step back and then another.

"Harry, come on, we have time," Sirius assured, holding out a hand to the wizard.

"No," His voice was suddenly deep and gravely, "No tiiiiiiime!" His words ended in a scream and Sirius could hear the boy's bones snapping, and could see his back began to bulge. "RU-UN!" Harry shouted a final waring as his face stretched froward into a long muzzle.

"Fuck! Fuck James!" Sirius shouted as he stumbled back, nearly stepping on Wormtail, who had already transformed during the pandemonium, "Your fucking watch is slow!"

"Change into Padfoot!" James screamed to him, before turning into a stag, but Sirius couldn't hear him through the blood pounding in his ears.

Inhuman wails spewed from the creature's mouth as it spasmed and thrashed, crashing into a tree as it's legs bent and it's feet erupted from the Hogwarts standard dragonhide boots. Using its claws, it shredded the school robes that constricted it's transformation.

Sirius watched all of this, just as horrified as he had been when he'd first seen Remus transform. This was Harry, and he was in so much pain it made Sirius want to scream.

Finally it was over, and a werewolf stood shakily in front of him, howling to the non-existent moon.

* * *

><p><strong>The pain was over.<strong>

**But the pack wasn't here.**

**Where is the pack?**

**Moony readied to howl, to summon the pack, but was beaten to it.**

**There is another.**

**Not pack, but could be pack...could harm pack...**

**Must protect pack!**

**Must protect pack!**

**Must protect pack!**

* * *

><p>"Shite," Sirius breathed, and the werewolf lowered its head to look at him, it's alien, yellow eyes shooting at him like a Confundus curse. From years of examining Moony, Sirius could tell immediately that Harry's werewolf was different. Harry's thin pelt was black and the thick grey skin beneath it was darker than Moony's. His face was different too, the muzzle was longer, his ears were pointier, as if they were cropped.<p>

And when Harry finally attacked, striding forward with quick steps, one clawed arm held up like a pendulum, it's mouth opened in a terrifying roar, revealing long, curved fangs. Remus's were far smaller.

Sirius barely could stumble back a step before the werewolf was right in front of him. Luckily for him, Prongs jumped in front of him to block the werewolf with his antlers. Harry faltered, stumbling back as he snarled.

The stag turned his head, giving Sirius a look that clearly said, 'Change now, you dumb git!' But taking his attention away from the werewolf turned out to be a big mistake.

"Prongs, look out!"

Before the words were out of his mouth, the werewolf had grabbed the stag by the antlers and threw him into a tree. Sirius didn't even have time to be horrified by his friend's pained squeal, before the werewolf was coming for him again. He turned into Padfoot and tried to escape, but not quickly enough to completely avoid the creature's swipe. The blow landed on his flank, knocking him clear over.

Looking up, Sirius was frozen helplessly, even as his death stood looming over him, preparing to sink it's fangs into him. This bite wouldn't be like the playful nips moony would give him, no, a bite from Harry's giant fangs would be too devastating to recover from.

When Harry finally leaned forward, and Sirius thought himself a goner, the werewolf pulled back onto its haunches, cocking its head, and peering into the brush. Not daring to move, he used his own animal senses, and finally picked up on the sound of something very large coming at them very fast.

Moony came careening out of the foliage at such a speed that it knocked Harry clear off his feet. Together, the two werewolves fell into a snarling ball of claws, teeth, and fury. Sirius watched with growing apprehension as the two broke apart, only to circle each other, growling balefully at each other. From what Sirius knew about werewolves, the two lone werewolves should have gotten along immediately, so great was their need for companionship. Unfortunately, that was not happening now.

As the two continued posturing, Sirius could see that Prongs was trying to get back up, and quickly skirted around the werewolves to get to his friend. Harry tried once again to charge at him, but was blocked by Moony, who was acting far more ferocious than he'd ever seen him, except perhaps when he tried to feed Snivellus to the werewolf.

When he made it to Prongs, who was struggling to stand, he crawled on top of him to keep the stag's body flat to the ground. Seeing as how he and James were closer than brothers, he had no problem interpreting the, 'What the bloody hell are you doing?' look that James was sending him. Unable to answer vocally, he merely pointed his nose towards the grappling werewolves in the center of the clearing.

Now that the two were so close, it was easy to tell that Remus was the larger werewolf of the two. Moony was able to toss Harry around like a rag doll, but the other werewolf seemed just as oblivious to pain as a rag doll would be, attacking again and again in its determination to tear him apart.

Sirius didn't know how to take his crush trying to kill him, but then it seemed unreasonable to be blaming Harry when he was in this state. What he didn't get was why Harry was still trying to attack him when he was already in his animagus form. Werewolves only attacked humans. Yes, Sirius had changed into Padfoot right in front of him, but most werewolves were to stupid too connect the dots. That Harry was that smart during the change was disquieting.

Moony howled in agony as the other werewolf darted forward and sunk his teeth into Moony's shoulder. Sirius leapt up , ready to help his friend, but Moony had already grabbed Harry by the other shoulder and twisted, throwing the two into a deadly roll. The snarling mass fell and writhed across the dirt, both of the werewolves' mouthes ripping bleeding furrows perilously close to each other's throats. In a motion to fast to follow, the two broke apart, each with blood dripping from their muzzles, and shredded shoulders. They continued to growl, neither faltering, as the stood staring at each other with their hackles raised.

When Harry moved, Sirius was sure it would be to attack again, but instead the werewolf seemed to pace restlessly. Each time he moved, Moony mirrored him, growling. He surged forward, as if to attack, but backed off when Moony stood his ground. Sirius watched breathlessly as Harry turned and disappeared into the forest. Everyone left in the clearing seemed to sag in relief, including Moony who whimpered as he sank to the ground.

Standing up, both he and Prongs hurried over to the werewolf. Wormtail also appeared, scurrying out of the bushes to check on Remus.

Moony looked at each of them, a happy wolfish grin on his face, and Sirius had to wonder what happened to the ferocious predator that had driven Harry away. _Harry._

Sirius looked out the way the other werewolf had retreated, and hoped that he was alright.

* * *

><p><strong>His shoulder hurt, but he endured.<strong>

**His leg was sprained, but he limped on.**

**He was weak, he should have won, should have killed the human that looked like a dog, but was not dog.**

**He was weak, but he was smart.**

**He would get stronger.**

**And then he would lead.**


	9. Be On My Way Once I've Sobered Up

**Author's Note:** I've been hearing a lot about the 'Purge' going through this site. One of my favorite authors has been a victim of this, and I'm pretty disgusted by it. As if writing about sex is a big deal! You can find worse in any romance section of the bookstore. I'm letting you all know now that if even one of my stories get deleted now or in the perceivable future, I will immediately dismantle my account and take my stories elsewhere. If that happens, you will be able to find me on live journal, with the account name **BlasterBlurby**. Down with the Purge!

On a lighter note, aren't these title pages wicked? Damn you ! I love and hate you in the same breath...

* * *

><p><span>Now We Know What Not To Do Again<span>

Be On My Way Once I've Sobered Up

* * *

><p><em>Here I am again, naked on your floor<em>

_Don't worry; I'll be leaving, once I find the door_

_I'm sorry for being too weak to carry on_

_I know everything we once had is dead and gone_

_Please don't make that face; I knew it was a long shot_

_So I'll take my quick fix and try to be happy with what I've got_

_You should know by now that it'll never be enough_

_But don't worry, I'll be on my way, once I've sobered up_

* * *

><p><strong>Date: November 1, 1978; 6:00 am<strong>

**Location: Forbidden Forest**

**Condition: N/A**

* * *

><p>Weak sunlight filtered through the trees, falling on Harry's bare face. His eyelids squeezed tighter, but then fluttered open. He squinted up at the canopy, and then down at his naked body, which lay sprawled in a leafy ditch. Smacking his lips, Harry realized that his tongue tasted like copper. With little emotion, the boy lifted his hands from the leaves and inspected the dried blood that crusted his fingers.<p>

When he heard rustling, Harry turned his head, letting it lay limply against a tree root as he had little energy to do anything more. He should be trying to hide his nudity, he supposed, but Harry couldn't bring himself to care, even when it was Sirius Black who came out of the undergrowth.

"Harry," the wizard sounded relieved, though Harry couldn't begin to wonder why, "You're okay." And then he seemed to notice Harry's state of undress. Harry could practically feel the heat of the other boy's gaze as it raked down his limbs, but when Black looked at his face the boy seemed ashamed. Glancing away with reddened cheeks, Sirius took off his own cloak, and placed it like a blanket over Harry.

"Did I kill someone?"

Sirius recoiled at his question.

"N-no you didn't," he assured him hastily, "You and Moony just got in a little fight." Black shot him close-eyed grin, so strained that even Harry could tell it was false. Sighing, his eyes drifted closed.

"Hey," Sirius nudged his shoulder, "Don't die on me!"

"Not dying," Harry murmured, to exhausted to even react when Black touched him.

"Why are you so," the boy seemed to struggle, "tired? Even Remus isn't this bad off after a full moon." If Harry was in his right mind, he would have at least tried to act surprised when Sirius revealed that Lupin was a werewolf, but seeing as he was not in his right mind, Harry just made an annoyed sound in his throat.

"No two people are the same, Black," Harry growled sharply, becoming irritated with the intrusion on his recovery time. Why couldn't the bastard leave him alone? "I may get the after effects worse, but I'll be fully recovered in a few hours. Can your friend say the same?" No, he could not. Harry knew from third year that Remus took days to fully recover. He distinctly remembered anytime he was taught by Professor Snape.

Sirius stayed blissfully silent for a few minutes, and Harry focussed on breathing.

"Dumbledore doesn't know that you're a werewolf, does he?"

"What made you think he did," Harry replied with loathing.

"Dumbledore is a great man!" Black snapped back, misinterpreting his disgust.

"Greatness," Harry snorted, unable to keep the derision out of his voice, "does not equal infallibility. Dumbledore is not Merlin and you do him a disservice by expecting so much from him. He is first and foremost, a man, and as prone to mistakes as any."

Harry didn't have the energy to open his eyes and look at the other wizard, so he could not see Black's expression, but his silence spoke loudly.

"You know him don't you?" he finally spoke, his voice quiet.

"I think," Harry replied sarcastically, "you would be hard pressed to find someone who didn't know of Albus Dumbledore."

"Of," he breathed, "But you know him."

Harry exhaled harshly, frustrated, yet too tired to explain. He never knew Dumbledore. He thought he had, once, but after his death it was like he didn't know him at all. He may not remember any fond memories of the man, but he did remember standing in a cave, listening to an old man's desperate pleas for forgiveness. No, Albus Dumbledore was no greater than any other man.

"He and my father were school mates," Harry finally said, recognizing his chance to fix some the damage the previous night had caused. "That is why I was allowed to enroll so late in my education."

"Theres more to it than that."

"Entertain whatever delusions you like, Black. I could care less," Harry panted, shortly. His limbs suddenly went from numb to on fire. He hissed in pain as he felt his muscles jump under his skin. It was agonizing, but not nearly as bad as the Cruciatus.

_Voldemort moved slowly forward and turned to face Harry. He raised is wand._

_"Crucio!"_

_It was pain beyond anything Harry had ever experienced; his very bones were on fire; his head was surely splitting along his scar; his eyes were rolling madly in his head; he wanted it to end...to black out...to die..._

A pair of strong hands held his shoulders flat against the ground in an attempt to stop his body from convulsing.

"Harry! Harry!"

Gasping, Harry immediately tried to escape, but Voldemort was holding him down. He couldn't take another crucio. He had to get to the cup! He didn't want to die like Cedric!

"Harry, calm down! It's okay! It's okay!" Voldemort hissed at him. His snake-like face only inches from his own.

In a panic, Harry struck out blindly at Voldemort, and his fist connected with the monster's face, sending him tumbling back. Scrambling backwards, Harry's eyes rolled wildly around in his head as they searched for the cup. He was sure it had landed beside Tom Riddle's tombstone, but as he searched, Harry slowly realized that he was not in a graveyard. There were no tombstones, only trees and dead leaves. The person who he thought was Voldemort, was only a school boy.

"Ugh! What, the bloody hell, was that?" Sirius Black yelled out as he sat back up. One of his hands was placed tightly over his left cheek.

Harry could only sit there, horrified by what had just happened.

He was getting worse.

Harry had never allowed himself any hope of getting better, you could even say that he was incapable of hoping, but it had never occurred to him that his condition could worsen. He was, of course, resigned to suffering the occasional flashback, the disorientation, the apathy, but never had he confused his episodes for reality. Never had the memories made him react so violently. He had looked at Sirius and only seen Voldemort.

He had attacked the other boy, like some kind of lunatic.

"Thistle! What was that?" Black demanded once again.

"Nothing," Harry denied, before he could really think.

Black gave a derisive laugh.

"That was not 'nothing,' I wasn't doing anything and you kept begging me to stop!" Black's face looked desperate somehow. "Just-," his voice broke for a moment, "Just tell me whats wrong and I'll help you."

Now it was Harry's turn to laugh derisively.

"And what do you think you can do-"

"Just let me help you, you stubborn bastard!" Black yelled over him, and Harry was temporarily stunned into silence. "I'm not James, I don't want to hurt or embarrass you. I want to be your-" abruptly he cut himself off. When he spoke again, his voice was calmer, but still just as hard. "I want to be your friend, but you're making it really fucking hard Harry."

"You," Harry swallowed, his eyebrow drawing together in consternation, "You want to be my friend?"

"Yes! Is it so hard to believe?" Sirius ranted, his cheeks flushed, "You're the most infuriating wizard I've ever met! No wonder you and Snape get along so well!"

"Why would you want to be friends with someone who infuriates you?" Harry asked, confused.

"Because I like you," he snapped and the grumbled, "most of the time."

Harry couldn't do anything but stare.

"Look," Black started after a long moment of silence, "Why don't we try being friends? What do you got to lose?" His expression was earnest.

"You hurt Severus," Harry rebuffed, "I can't be friends with someone who hurts him. Severus is too important." He was too tired to even realize what he was saying, but he had to find a reason, any reason to keep Black at a distance.

"I could stop," Sirius said quickly, "If you don't want me to. I won't even look at the creep again!"

"You'd have to apologize," Harry muttered, a satisfied smile overcoming his face. There was no way Sirius would ever apologize to Snape. The wizard was too righteous and full of pride. He'd refuse, and never bring up the subject again.

Smug, Harry let himself drift off into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

><p>Well, shite. Now he had to apologize to that slimy wanker.<p>

Sirius considered refusing Harry's ultimatum. Was Harry Thistle really more important then his seven year feud with Snape? Really, considering the amount of time and effort he devoted to hating the Slytherin, it would be perfectly logically to choose it over Harry, who Sirius had only known a couple months.

Sirius snorted, shooting Harry's sleeping body a wry smile.

"Nice try, genius," He drawled to himself, "But in case you haven't noticed, you've got it bad." Chuckling to himself, Sirius fell back into a pile of leaves, his arms crossed behind his head. "All he'd have to do is say 'jump' and you'd fly for him," Sirius muttered, rolling eyes to the side to make sure Harry was still asleep, but became captivated by the way the boy's chest rose and fell with each breath. He might have laid there for an hour before coming to his senses.

"Man, do you have it bad," He sighed.

Birds chirped and called from the treetops as Sirius wondered what he would do.

If he wanted to be friends with Harry, he'd have to apologize to Snape, Harry's friend. And bloody hell, did that sting. That Snivellus had what he wanted. But then, friendship wasn't exactly what he wanted from Harry. He wanted Harry to look at him like he looked at Harry. He wanted to be everything to Harry.

"You sound like a poof," he snorted at himself. But then again, wasn't he a poof for liking a bloke anyway? There was no doubt in his mind how much the thought of being with Harry aroused him. For the past month, his wanking fantasies were almost completely comprised of the wizard, but when he thought of other guys, he was instantly turned off.

Sirius suspected he was a Harrysexual.

"Mmmf."

Startled, Sirius sits up as Harry rolls over and throws an arm over his head. Harry mumbles something incoherent into the ground. Sirius might have been able to understand it, but he was entirely to distracted by the way his cloak had slid down to just barely cover Harry's arse.

On Harry's right hip was the mottled scar tissue left by his attack. The scar tissue was even whiter than the boy's own, already pale skin. Without even thinking, Sirius reached out and traced the uneven skin with the pads of his fingers.

Harry rolled over so fast that Sirius couldn't even jerk his traitorous hand away in time. Now it hovered uncertainly above Harry's pelvis, hardly an inch away from touching Harry through the fabric of the cloak.

And Harry was staring at him, very, very hard.

"I was just seeing if you were up," he squeaked out very quickly, his hand snapping back to his side so fast that he hit himself. "If you can make it, we should probably head to the infirmary soon." Sirius smiled nervously as he hoped that Harry didn't AK him right there.

Thankfully, Harry just blew out a harsh breath and let his head fall back into the leaves.

"Right," his voice husky from sleep, making little Sirius twitch in interest, "the Infirmary."

Sighing Harry sat up, making sure that Sirius's cloak didn't fall from his lap.

"Can you accio my wand and clothes?" Harry asked groggily as he rubbed his eyes. Red-faced, Sirius hastily drew his wand accioed first Harry's clothes and then his wand. A pile of rags zoomed through the trees and collided with his chest, the wand not far behind.

"I don't think they're salvageable," said Sirius as he handed the pile over. Harry took them and waved his wand.

"Ammendium," he cast and the clothes began to repair themselves.

"I've never seen that spell before."

"It's just a household charm for mending tears, a must in every werewolf's arsenal, I'd say."

Sirius blinked for a moment, before he realized that Harry was joking. The boy tsk'ed at the sight of his blown out shoes before vanishing them. Picking up a rock, Harry tossed it up at Sirius, causing him to fumble to catch it.

"Wha-?" He started.

"You're the transfiguration prodigy aren't you?" Harry deadpanned as he stood to get dressed in his newly mended clothing. "Make me a pair of shoes." Harry turned, and the sight of his bare arse nearly made Sirius swallow his tongue. "And try not to stare at my arse while you're doing it!" He snapped, glaring over his shoulder.

"I'll try, but no guarantees!" Sirius shouted almost automatically, his neck bright red, as Harry disappeared around a wide tree trunk. "Right, shoes." He sighed, taking out his wand and concentrating on the rock. Unlike your typical spells, transfiguration didn't require incantations or fancy wandwork, just an intense desire, lots of concentration, and power above all. It was his family's only point of pride when it came to him.

When Harry came back, fully clothed to Sirius's disappointment, two leather shoes were complete.

"Thank you," said Harry, as cold as anything that he'd ever said. He bent and slipped the shoes onto his bare feet. Not even looking at him.

"I'm going to apologize to Snape," Sirius declared before his brain caught up with him, but the completely gobsmacked expression Harry had on his face when he looked up was worth ten apologies.

"What?" Harry gaped, and a smirk tugged at his own lips. Harry looked so cute like that.

"I'm going to take your deal. My apology for your friendship." He rocked back on his heels and at Harry's affronted expression. He guessed Harry never thought he'd apologize and was now rueing his words. If he was a gentleman, Sirius wouldn't hold Harry to what he'd said when he was half-asleep and delirious, but hey, nobody ever accused Sirius Black of being a gentleman. Deviant, blood-traitor, and womanizer...Oh, yeah.

"I-I don't believe you!" Harry sputtered.

"You'll just have to see. I'll apologize for messing with Snape the next time I see the little bugger."

"But you won't mean it! And as soon as you say you're sorry, you'll just go back to bullying him!" Sirius could have argued that leaving the git alone wasn't part of the deal, but he was feeling charitable, especially if it would earn Harry's good will.

"Maybe I won't mean it," Sirius admitted, "But I also promise you that I'll leave him alone as long as you keep up your end."

"What? To be your friend! You can't force a friendship, Black!"

"You just have to try," Sirius inserted patiently, "If you can't stand to be my friend, well, I guess we'll have to try something else." Something else being the horizontal tango, if Sirius had his way.

And with that, he and Harry left for the infirmary, albeit with a cloud of disbelief hanging above Harry.

* * *

><p>"You're friends now," James deadpanned, just waiting for the punchline that would surely end that ludicrous sentence.<p>

"Yep," Sirius replied cheerfully, glancing to the other end of the infirmary, where Harry was getting a pepper-up from Madam Pomfrey.

"He tried to kill you!" James screamed as softly as he could, not wanting to attract attention.

"Prongs, you know he couldn't help that," Sirius chided.

"Couldn't help it!" He yelped. "Pads, _normal_ werewolves don't attack animagi! He. Tried. To. Kill. You!"

"Is there a problem here, gentlemen?"

"No problem, Madam Pomfrey," Sirius hastened to say, "And my I say you are just radiated with beauty this fine morning."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Mister Black," Pomfrey said flatly, "And if hear you've been shouting in my infirmary while I'm gone, it'll be the last time you are allowed in here without a broken neck." With that said, the school nurse left for breakfast.

Sirius believed every word, and that Madam Pomfrey would be the one breaking his neck.

"I think it's great," Remus said from where he was sat up in bed.

"Don't you start!" Snapped James as he turned his back to them and ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

"I agree with James," Peter declared, jumping off the end of Remus' hospital bed. "I don't think you should be friends with Thistle either."

"No offense, Peter, but you nor James have a say in who I'm friends with," snapped Sirius, scowling at his two friends. "I'm going to apologize to Snape, and then Harry's going to start hanging out with us, end of discussion!" Him and Harry hanging out by themselves was not an option. Sirius wouldn't be able to control himself.

"What! You can't just decide that!" James shouted. "No one else wants him around-,"

"I do," Remus injected happily, knowing that James would give in eventually. No one could say no to Sirius Black for long.

"I don't!" snarled James.

"If it's any consolation Potter, neither do I."

The Marauders all turned at the sound of Harry's voice, except for Sirius, who hardly ever took his eyes off the green-eyed wizard.

"And if will make this ludicrous situation pass any easier, I'll state the obvious. I am not interested in Lily Evans in any romantic capacity. We are only friends." Harry spoke slowly and concisely, as if speaking to a daft child.

"There, James. Lily and Harry aren't buggering eachother. Now you have nothing to complain about!" Sirius said cheerfully.

Funny, despite not liking each other, Harry and James had nearly identical expressions of disgust.

* * *

><p><strong>Remember to review!<strong>


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